[00:00:01] Speaker A: Thanks for tuning in to the Met Church podcast. Here at the Met, we are all about connecting people to God and one another. If you have any questions or want more information about what's happening here at the church, then head to our
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[00:00:24] Speaker B: Well, well, good morning. It's great to welcome all of you to this 930 service, especially those of you watching online. Thank you for that. Thank you for sharing the service with your family and friends. It's great to see you guys here. Pastor Corey tells me that all of our volunteers at the CRC served over 950 families yesterday. Isn't that amazing? So we're happy to report that. So happy to report that to you. It's sad. On one hand, there is such a need, but it's awesome on the other hand to know that our church is able to meet that need. So thank you for your financial support, thank you for your prayerful support. Thank you for volunteering your time and making that ministry happen for so many families each and every week. It's exciting to see what God is doing there. Now we're in a series where we are talking about the importance and the significance of family. I told you last weekend there are three institutions the Bible records that God created. The first institution was the home. The very first thing God did, he established a family, he established a home. The second institution that he created was he created government. The significance and the importance of government. And you see that in the book of Romans. The third institution that he created and he established, jesus said, in fact, upon this rock I will build my church and the gates of hell will not prevail. So the third institution is his church, the ecclesia, the divine calling out, the gathering, if you will, the way. It is a group of people who have received Jesus as Savior, and we cooperate and we work with one another in fellowship to carry out the most significant task in all the world. And that is telling people about our loving Savior, Jesus Christ. And that is the main function of the church. And the hard thing in the church is to keep the main thing, the main thing. And it's significant that we as a church, we've always focused on the significance of bringing people to Christ. There's no more important task in all the world. It's the most important thing we as parents can do for our children.
The secret that we want to communicate to our children is more than a religious experience. The significance of communicating to our children is a genuine relationship to Jesus Christ. Something they can have if they're not accessible to a church, something that they can have if it's not possible for them to attend a church. They can still worship God because they have a relationship to him that is personal, that is in their heart. Now, I can't make that decision for my children, nor would I attempt to make the decision for my children. What I do is want to expose my children to an atmosphere where they can make that decision on their own. I think the objective spiritually for every parent in the room is to see that our children at some point in their life take ownership of their faith, that we want them to own their own faith. We want them to trust Christ on their own, independent of us. And I'll say as an encouraging note, I hope it's encouraging the only thing we can take to heaven with us when we go won't be our money.
Someone said, you don't see a U Haul getting pulled behind a hearse.
You're not going to be able to take any possessions with you. In fact, Job said, naked came I into the world and I'm going to go out the same way. And so the point is we can't take any of the possessions. We can't take our career, our resume. But you know, the one thing we have here on Earth we can take to heaven with us one day will be our children. Isn't that a beautiful thought? We love our kids, and one day it is possible to have our children meet us in heaven. What a glorious thought to know that one day the family circle will no longer be broken. It is possible to spend an eternity with our kids. Now, not everybody has kids. Not everybody is planning on having kids. Not everybody likes kids.
But for those of us who have children and those of you who are planning on having children, I want to talk to you a little bit this morning about what is God's divine direction for raising really champion children, the very best they can possibly be. Now, say this right up front. Wouldn't it be great, wouldn't it be great if every child came with an instruction manual?
Wouldn't that be amazing if every kid came I mean, when the doctor and they say, you've got a healthy baby. Here's your baby now, here's the instruction manual, we have some information, very pertinent for you, that's going to help you know how to parent this child. Now, the reason we laugh at that because we know how unique and different our children are.
One child. And when you have the second child, then you really realize how different that first child was to the second child. And you think about it sometimes, how did that happen? I mean, in the 127th Psalm, the Bible says our children are as arrows, arrows in the hand of a warrior. Think of your parenting as a person who is a skilled marksman with a bow and arrow. And the Bible says your kids, when you draw them from the quiver. They're like arrows. Now, I don't know if you're familiar with archery, but what I know about archery is every arrow can be made from the same manufacturer. That arrow can have the same weight. The arrow on the end can have what they call a fletching, the same fletching. It can look identical. The arrow going down the shaft can have the same markings. It can carry the same broadhead. I mean, everything can be identical. One arrow identical to the other arrow and you're out hunting and you have a quiver full of identical arrows. But what they will tell you is when that arrow leaves your bow, no two arrows will fly aerodynamically the same. And the reason they say that is invisible to the naked eye is what they call a bent. A-B-E-N-T-A. Bent. The arrow has a bent. Now, it looks perfect. It's beautiful. They look like you. They look like her. Grandma thinks they look like her.
I mean, all those things, that little bent, all of those arrows can have all of the things I've just described. But let me tell you something, man.
When you hit that release and you let that arrow fly, no two arrows are going to go exactly the same. One of them may hit the mark. One of them may go way wider. The mark. And what you do as a parent is you bring parent guilt on yourself. You immediately be able to say, what I do wrong? I must have messed up. I tried to raise them exactly the same way. I loved them equally. I did everything I was supposed to do. And yet this one hit the target and that one is gone God knows where.
And you have parenting guilt. I understand that. And I will tell you what you already know. And that is the hardest job in the world, is parenting, being a good parent. It's a hard job. That's why you see Moms and Dads sitting on the park bench staring out into space while their kids are playing around them. It's a hard job. It's never ending. It's 24. I'm not discouraging some of you from having kids. I don't mean to do that.
It's unending. It's going to be hard. I'm going to have to lay down a minute just thinking about it.
But it's the most rewarding, I'll hasten to say the most rewarding experience in the world to see your kids grow to a place where they can leave that nest and they begin to function as adults. And you begin to realize the investment you've made and the time you spent and the nurturing you did and the discipline you tried to provide, all of those things are coming to fruition. And you've seen a wonderful human being come out of your home. So it's worth all the reward, it's worth all of the effort. But what I'm going back to and saying is they don't have instruction manuals. They just don't. You kind of learn as you go. You study your kid. Is my kid an outgoing child? Are they a little introvert? Are they artistic? Are they athletic? Now they'll go through a phase of life. I'm trying to remember off the top of my head what child development and child psychologists call this. But there is a phase that children will go through in life where they imagine themselves to be anything and everything.
They can be a pirate. They can be Batman. They can be Spider Man. And it's exciting to see that. I told one of the services one time about a parent that was a little worried about their child because he didn't seem to be growing out of that phase. He had this incredible imagination, and he was telling these huge stories, and he was talking about it in school. And kids are starting to make fun of him a little bit because they're like, no way that happened. Your dad's not an astronaut and a Navy Seal. So he's had all these incredible stories. And so they took him to the counselor at school and the counselor, Let me talk to I think I can help him. And so she said, we set up a time to meet with a boy and his mom. And so when the time of the appointment came, she was late. She's like 15 minutes late and purposefully on late. But they didn't know that. So when she walks into the room, she says to the little boy and his mom I'm so sorry that I'm late, but on my way to school, she said, I stopped. And she said, this massive gorilla jumped out of the tree and started jumping on the hood of my car. And he was trying to get into the car, and she said, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, this little tiny Chihuahua came. And the Chihuahua jumped on the hood and chased the gorilla away. And she said, So I finally got to school, and I'm late. And the little boy was unfazed. I mean, he was unfazed. He didn't even move the needle at all. And he looked. And she goes, what do you think about my story? Do you believe that? He goes, I believe it. She says, well, why would you believe that? He said, that was my dog.
Well, some of you may have a child like that, right?
They're imagining themselves. And as a wise parent, you start trying to observe what your child is good at and you begin to try to encourage them in that way.
And you want them to be good in the things that they're naturally gifted in. And it takes some skill as a parent. It takes time as a parent. It takes a focus as a parent.
And can I tell you, if you do get to that season of life where your child doesn't hit the target and they veer off the mark. Can I tell you, that is not an indication that you're a bad parent.
Now, there are those instances where some of you may have had that experience where you had a neglectful father, maybe an absentee dad, or maybe an abusive mother. And my heart goes out to you. And I would say this about that, that it is possible to get healing from that experience, to get beyond that experience, and to determine as you raise your kids whatever crazy you went through as a kid, you ain't passing crazy on to your kid.
And it's possible sometimes to draw a line in the sand and say, that ends with me. I'm going to get healthy, and I am not going to pass that on to my children. I want them to have a healthy home. But I'm just saying you can have the best home. You can do everything right. You can pray over those kids, expose them to God's word, do all of the above, and still have one hit the target and one veer off the mark.
There's a story in the Old Testament of a king named Hezekiah. And in two kings, Chapter 20, isaiah the prophet went to King Hezekiah and said, god has said, King, you will not live. This is your last day on earth. And it shook King Hezekiah as it would shook anyone.
He turned his face to the wall and he began to pray, and he began to plead, and he repented. And he said, god, I haven't really honored you as I should, but Lord, if you'll let me live, there's so much I still want to do. I promise you I'll devote every moment of the rest of my life to serving you. And God heard his prayer, and before Isaiah was out of the palace, god told Isaiah, go back and tell the king, I've heard your prayer, and I'm going to give you 15 years of extended life.
And hezekiah became the most unusual man to ever live. He's the only man that ever lived that knew exactly how long he would live and exactly when he would die. 15 years.
And so what you see when you study the story is that two years into that 15 year extension, hezekiah and his wife had a son. They named him Manassa. What hezekiah knew was, I've got twelve years to pour into my child. 1212 years from now, I'm going to step from the temporal into the eternal. Twelve years from now, I will not be able to be there with him. I won't see him graduate. I won't see him go to prom. I'm not going to see him go to college. I won't see him have a career. He knew all of that. He processed all of that. And so for twelve years, he poured everything he knew into that little boy, spent time with him, prayed over him, prayed with him, taught him about God. In fact, there's a prayer in Isaiah 38. It's the Prayer of Hezekiah. It's the prayer of Hezekiah over his son. Now, can you imagine what's going to Hezekiah's mind? I'm not going to be with this little boy. So everything I need to teach him, I'm teaching him with a limited amount of time. I'm pouring everything I know into his life. I need him to be able to stand without a father one day. So he had that pressure on him.
Hezekiah dies according to the custom of the day, manassa becomes the king. And when you read the story, two Chronicles 32 33 records it. He did everything the exact opposite of what his father had taught him, regardless of all that great training, regardless of his love or his father's love for God and all of that stuff. The Bible says Manasseh, it opens with this line, did evil in the sight of the Lord, more so than anyone who had ever preceded him.
He twisted off.
I mean, it's a bad kid.
I mean, he was the worst of anyone who had ever ruled up until that time. Now, the reason I share the illustration, and I don't want you to miss this, is because he did it in spite of the fact that he had a great home, in spite of the fact he had a loving father, in spite of the fact he had a nurturing mother. And I'm just saying, parents, sometimes you do the best you can with the time you've been given and pouring into your children. Some will hit the target and some will veer.
Now, when you go to Two Chronicles 33 and you read the last, you know what happened?
In my estimation, God answered the prayer of Hezekiah for his son because hezekiah was the strong willed child.
He only responded not when he could see the light. He responded when he could feel the heat. You know that difference, right?
You have your compliant child. Aren't they wonderful? The compliant child usually the first.
You don't even have to threaten them. You don't have to say you just say, don't do this, and they don't do it. It's like, whoa, I got parenting down. This is easy. Let me get six more of them.
They're messing with you. That's God's way of just having a little fun with you, because that strong wheel child's coming.
Now, that's when you really want to tighten that chin strap on for that strong wheel child. That compliant child, well, the compliant child, they'll just learn as they're told. But that strong wheel child, they learn only by what they experience.
If it says wet paint, they're touching it.
If it says this is hot, they're going to see that for themselves.
And I'm speaking from experience. I was the strong willed child.
All right? It keeps rocking that TV, it's going to fall. Yeah, I told you it'd fall, right? I can't tell you many times I had to go hurt, didn't it? Yeah, I told you it was going to hurt. That hurt? Yeah. You think? Strong will child. That was Manassa strong willed child. And what's interesting, when you read Two Chronicles 33, it took Manassa losing his kingdom, losing his following, losing everything he had inherited. He lost everything. And the Bible says when he was in Affliction, he turned and get the Phrasing. It's in Two Chronicles 33. He turned to the God of his father.
He remembered Dad's prayer.
He remembered mom praying over him. He went through all that he went through. And the Bible says at that point, God forgave him and restored his kingdom. So it had a happy ending. But I just say that to you parents who struggle sometimes with parent guilt. Just because a child is not hitting the mark doesn't mean they won't. It just means they are a little wavered right now. Your child will either be wise or otherwise, and sometimes it takes time for them to figure out what they are. In fact, look at the text I want to share with you this morning. It's proverbs 22 six. By the way, when you read the proverbs.
Proverbs are not promises.
Proverbs is a poetic book. A proverb is like an apple a day keeps the doctor away. That's a proverb. But does that mean if you eat an apple a day, you're never going to go to a doctor? No. Nobody believes that. We understand. What is it saying? It's saying if you eat healthy, if you take care of yourself, eat right, chances are you're not going to have as many problems as people who don't take care of themselves. We get that, right? It's a proverb. Well, these are proverbs. They mean probability. There's a proverb it probably will work this way. Now, promise you take to the bank. Promise is certain. And this is a proverb. He's saying this will probably work when you apply it. What is the proverb? Train up a child. Train up a child. Notice it. Now, he didn't say train up an adult.
Train up a child. Where does the training begin? Begins while they're young. You're training a child.
Some people weight 100 pounds in 15 years. Too late.
Train up a child. The training begins early, early in life. Why? Because their curiosity factor is high. Kids are curious. They'll ask you 9000. Why their curiosity. Their memory factor is high. A child can learn three languages before they're six years old. I can't do that.
Their curiosity factor is high. Their memory factor is high. Their trust factor is high. Children just trust you. They trust you. So when you tell them this is what it is, they're going to accept your word for it until they get older and learn otherwise.
So my suggestion is you start early. That's what he's saying. You train up a child. And by the way, there's a difference between teaching a child and training a child. Both are important. And you do both.
Teaching has more to do with teaching is verbal. Verbal in football. I don't know how many of you guys play football. We had what we called skull practice. That's where you would go into a training room and you'd watch film, or you would mark up on a board your skull practice, your mind mapping, you're envisioning the play and you're seeing it in your head. Skull practice, that's teaching. Training is you put the pads on, you go on the field, and you hit one is verbal, one is visual one. You learn by hearing one, you learn by actually doing. And both things are significant to the development of a child.
And here he's saying, you train up this child and note now in the way he should go or she should go, not the way they would go, because they don't know which way to go. They're as confused as a termite and a yoyo when they're little.
So you got to give them some direction, and we'll talk about that. You got to steer them in the right way. You got to expose them to the right things. So that's role of a parent as we're nurturing our children, bring them up. Remember, the Bible says in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. That's why I compliment you for exposing your children to a church where they can make a decision at some point about their faith that's important.
It's not the religion, as I said earlier, it's the relationship with God that we want them to forge. We want them to have a personal faith in the Creator, the one that made them and designed them, so that they can understand the uniqueness of how he's brought them into the world and what he's designed them to do. Train up the child in the way they should go. And then when they're old oh, wait, remember manasseh when they're old, they'll not depart from in other words, there is a probability that they're going to come back to the teaching that you put into them when they were little.
They may veer for a while, they may sow those wild oats, but eventually all the good things you put into them will come back to them. And there's probably people in this room who could testify to the fact that you were one of those arrows that flew wide of the mark and thought you were smarter than mom or dad. And after a series of living life, it's kind of brought you back to realizing, the older I get, the smarter they become.
And now you catch yourself teaching your kids some of the same things they taught you that you dismissed at one point in life. It's wisdom. You've learned some things. Good for you. It's part of life and part of growing. So when they're old, they'll not depart from it. Well, after thinking about our topic this morning, and just briefly, I wanted to share what I think really are three significant things that involve raising great kids. Number one, I would tell you this, children need our devotion. Children need our devotion. A parent is the most influential person in the life of a child.
You are the first authority figure they'll ever see.
The best way not to have a juvenile delinquent is just determine not to raise one.
Some psychology says, well, keep the saw sharp in case that little angel wants to saw the legs off the coffee table. You don't want to frustrate them if they decide to do that.
No, they need that help and they need your devotion. They need that love. In fact, in Ephesians six four, the Bible says, don't stir your children to anger. The idea there is, don't put unrealistic demands on your kids that frustrate them.
Don't expect too much out of them when they're still young and they're still growing and they're still learning. Don't frustrate your kids. Don't overwhelm your kids. Kids need devotion. Let me give you three words. They need to be appreciated just as a relationship. When you're in a relationship with another person, you want to feel appreciated. Now, what we know about buying a car, what do they tell you the minute you drive it off the lot? What happens to it? It what depreciates, right? It loses value. So when you appreciate anyone, you're adding to their value.
So when you say to your child, you did that great. What a good job, you're smart man, I am so proud of you. What you're doing, you are appreciating them, but you're adding to their value. And I cannot tell you how powerful your words are.
You remember that little saying, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. That's such a load. That is not no, the sticks and stones part is true that will break your bone. But the other part is not true that words will never hurt you. I promise you. There are grown kids in this room north of 40 that could remember hurtful words spoken into you as a child, and you still remember them.
You still recall them.
So I'm saying sometimes as a parent, before you say something that you are going to try to, you can't unring the bell. The Bible says those words are like spilt milk on the ground. They're like feathers scattered into the wind. Sometimes the best thing to do as a parent when you're frustrated with your child is don't say anything. In that moment, if you aren't certain of your words, then just don't say anything. You never want to discipline out of anger, and you want to take your time. You want to breathe. Because our words are powerful. They're important. They're significant in the life of our children. And kids need to be appreciated. Catch them doing something right.
Compliment them. Secondly, children need to be affirmed.
Affirmed. Find what they do and do that well and affirm them in that. Like I said, if they're artistic, if they're athletic, your child does something, then they do that something very well. So affirm them in that.
Third thing I would say is children need to be adored. What do I mean? That they need to hug. They need to be hugged regularly. Now, I know some of you didn't come from a hugging family. Some of you aren't comfortable with I came from a hugging family.
Some of Cindy's family were hugging and some of them weren't. Her mother, my mother in law, who's in heaven now, wasn't a big hugger when I met her, but I was a hugger.
I'm coming in, baby. Ready? Get ready.
Here we go. The first time I met her, it was really awkward because when our family goes, hey, how are you doing? I don't mean we're checking for weapons. I mean you just give them a hug.
Not a creeper, I'm just saying you just give them a hug. But it's just, hey, how are you doing? And I gave her a hug, just pat her on the back. And it was like the stiffest thing I've ever it was like this really awkward thing. Her arms are at her side, like so I held her another moment just to make it a little more awkward.
And I'd like to think I attributed to loosing her up a little bit before it was over. Man, she's hugging everybody. Get over. Give me I got this is awkward. Now I'm the one going, don't say nothing, for the love of God.
But the point is that may not be your thing, but start a new thing. Your kids need to be hugged. They need to have that affection. They need to hear you say, it was so sad. I heard a guy one time say the most meaningful memory he had of his father was on his father's deathbed. And he heard his father say two things to him that he said I'll never forget. He said, Son, I'm proud of you. Son, I love you.
Now, I didn't say anything critical because but I thought, why guys, why would you wait to your deathbed? Why would you wait to tell your child that you're proud of them and that's more about you than them?
I mean, some of you guys, you got to loosen up a little bit.
You may have twelve years. Like hezekiah you don't have much time. And we were talking about this morning, it goes so fast.
I find myself now sometimes now that Cindy's in heaven, I find myself even looking at my kids thinking, I hope I enjoyed the moments.
Because you have those spaces in your mind where you don't remember a lot of things. And I was at the games, but I hope I enjoyed them. I watched her cheer. I hope I enjoyed I walked her out there sorry. Become homecoming queen. I hope I enjoy that. I saw him, he rode bulls. He did some crazy stuff, but I was there. I hope I enjoyed all that.
And it goes by so fast that you really hope you enjoyed the moments.
And I'm just telling you, if you'll take it from an old joker, the time you have with your kids go by so quick and they need to know you're proud of them, you love them, start a new tradition. You'll freak them out. They may do this thing on you, but just when you walk out of here, just grab that little booger and hold them. Just hug them. I love you. I'm so proud of you.
And, well, it'll be awkward the first time you do it, but it'll get more and more comfortable. And you know who will never forget it? They won't forget it. And they won't have to be on the deathbed wondering one day, was dad proud of me? Did dad love me? Children need to be adored. They need devotion. Number two, children need discipline. You really do. I said, you're the first authority figure they see in their life. You are. And you know why it's so important that children respect your authority? Because your authority will determine how they look at their teacher.
If they don't respect you, they're not going to respect their teacher. And by the way they get a little older, they're not going to respect the law enforcement officer.
When they have an interaction, there'll be no respect because that authority is established in the home they learn to respect. The Bible says, children, obey your parents in the Lord. Ephesians six, for this is right.
God said, in fact, it's the first command with a promise. It's a twofold promise that you may live long on the earth and it will go well with you.
Because if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, it will go away.
Isn't it wonderful when we all get along? I mean, when the home is harmonious and there's not a spirit of rebellion? And that has to be trained out of a child because a child left to themselves. The Bible teaches the principle that a child left to themselves will bring about great harm and dishonor.
Children need to know life doesn't make sense for a child if they don't know where the rules are.
I was watching Willie, my youngest grandson. Well, he's not actually my youngest. I got a little granddaughter in heaven that's actually my youngest, but he's next up on that line. And watching him play flag football, he's six, by the way. He's the best kid on the team. I just put that out there.
That's totally under. His other grandfather and I, we totally concur. I told him in the car I was driving him home one day after practice. I said, Will, me and your other granddaddy said, you are the best kid on the team. You know what he said? I know it so good job on the confidence thing. I think I got that one covered. He's fine.
But I don't even know where I was going with that story. But anyway but no, I know now it was the rules of the game. He's six years old. If they pull your flag, you're down.
You got to go ten yards to get a first down. If you go across this line, that's a boundary. You're out of bounds. But if you can get in there, that's the end zone and you get points. What's the point? Structure rules. They make the game fun for a six year old. And sometimes with parents, oh, I just can't provide structure. I can't just discipline my child. I get it that it hurts your heart, but a lot of times you're doing what's good for you, not for them, because nobody likes that. The Bible says no chastening for the time. Seems joyous. Hebrews twelve. I hate that time when you got to discipline. But it's necessary because, honey, you stepped out of bounds. Here's the consequences. Now, consequences can look different. I would tell you on disciplining a child, you can't find a verse in the Bible where the Bible supports abusing a child.
Nowhere in the Scripture does the Bible teach abusing a child.
I actually had a guy in my former church years ago. He and I I did almost go Old Testament on him. I'll admit that he tried to justify the abuse of his children with scripture.
I thought, you coming at me with Scripture, trying to justify you abusing this child.
I almost grabbed him right out of the house with him. I mean, I was really upset with that joker. I said, well, first of all, with the bruising on this child that the nursery department has seen, first thing is going to happen is I'm reporting you. Oh, you're a pastor. Reporting you. I said, as quick as my little fat fingers can hit the buttons on that phone, I'm reporting you. You abuse your child. I'm not putting up with that. In fact, Jesus said it'd be better for a millstone to be hung around their neck and then to be thrown in the sea if they hurt a child. I don't have any patience for that. That's just me. I'm confessing a sin. Pray for me. Would you pray for me? I haven't been medicated this morning. I'm a little edgy.
I'm just saying that's one of my hot buttons. I don't understand how anybody could hurt a child.
Can I give you a theory? It's free like the rest of it. My theory is no one who really is healthy and loves themselves would abuse their spouse or abuse their child. Not if they're healthy. Remember what I told you last week? If you are a person and you're swinging and fighting and you're just doing this all the time, anyone that comes into your world and tries to get close to you will get hit it's not about them. It's just you.
Because you're an angry person. You've repressed this, and anyone that comes into your circle, whether they're little or big, will get hit because you ain't happy with you.
And you have to see that about yourself.
And you have to realize that I cannot take this abuse out on my children and take this abuse out on the people who I need help. Now, if you're willing to get help, I'll walk with you every step of the way if you're willing to get help. The guy I referred to was not willing to get help. He was obstinate. He had abused his wife.
I don't want to go there anymore. But my point is, there was no repentance. There was no brokenness. There was no willingness on his part to accept any level of responsibility for his actions. You can't help somebody who doesn't know they need help. Step one, right?
So I'm just suggesting to your heart this morning that the Bible says discipline, but never does the Bible say abuse.
And you do it for the love of the child. Proverbs 1324. You do it because of the nature of a child. Psalm 58 three. Our children are born into this world. The Bible says they don't know how to speak the truth. Have you ever thought about this? As much as you love your kid, you don't have to teach kids how to lie.
You don't. You have to teach them how to tell the truth. I told you about my mom. I got a hurry here, but just one quick thing. My mom used to tell me when kids lied to her, my younger brother older sister, when we lied, she said, there are little things in the eyes of a child only a parent can see. They're like hammers, and they beat. And the minute you lie to your mother, those little hammers go off, and I can look in your eyes and tell you're lying. Well, you know what that did to us?
We go lie to her, we ain't looking her in the eye.
There's a term for that. It's called slycology.
And I mean, till I got like 30, no, wasn't that old, I realized. I told her one time, I said, Mother, you do know that in order to get me to tell you the truth, you lied to me.
I don't know. I need to go sit on a couch with somebody for a while and talk through all that.
But the point is, they have to be taught because they come into the world. The Bible says understanding about lying, they understand, I didn't do it, she did it, he did it. We've seen that, right? So you do it because it's good for them. Some of the things you want to do to your kids is you want to teach them how to regulate their emotions, how to be able to have not just a strong IQ, but a strong EQ.
You want to teach them how to make good decisions and how you teach them to make decisions, you let them make some decisions, and then you also allow them to feel the consequences, good or bad, of the decisions they've made. You're trying to give them a little rope to create some independence. You want to teach them some social skills. You want to teach them to be able to interact with their teacher, with other adults, without you having to be afraid of what that's going to look like or be like. You want to take them to a restaurant without a SWAT team having to be called in to wrangle them back at your table.
You want to teach them some basic social skills as a parent. You want to teach them to be empathetic to others.
You don't want your child to have the tendency to be a bully. You want them to instead look for other kids who are being bullied and teach them to be empathetic and to be able to go in and stand next to someone who's being picked on or treated poorly. You want to teach them to take responsibility. Teaching remember verbal teaching. Third thing, children need direction. They need direction. You got to point the arrow. Not that means you make all the decisions for them, but for a while you do.
I had a lady one time when I was student pastor. She goes, Bill, I can't get him to get up and come to student ministry on Sunday morning. He just won't get out of bed and come to church with us. He just doesn't. I said, well, he doesn't like what we're doing. No, I mean, what you're doing is good. He just doesn't want to go. I said, how does he feel about school?
She, oh, he hates school, too. I said, well, what do you do on Monday? She said, I don't give him a choice. I said do that on Sunday.
You already know how to do it. Just do that because you're giving them some direction. You're making some decisions that are good for them, even though they may not be old enough to see that they may not be old enough to recognize. By the way, this is interesting, the idea of train up in that proverbs 22 in the Hebrew, if you study this, it's interesting. It is the same word that is used in the Hebrew. It means to create an appetite.
The midwife, back in that day when a baby was born, a midwife would take her finger and dip it in honey and then into crushed dates. And then she would take her finger that had been dipped in honey and crushed dates, and she would rub the palate of the child to get the child to start wanting nutrition so it would latch, so it would want nutrition. So in order to get the child to want nutrition, she would stimulate the child in that way. It's the same word, train up. It means to create in your child an appetite for something good for them. You remember when Jesus taught in Matthew five, he said, blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness. God says, what we're doing as a parent is we're teaching them how to hunger and thirst for teaching them how to understand. There's a God that loves them, who cares for them.
There's a right and a wrong way to do things. There's a good and a bad thing. You're directing them, you're steering them in a direction in the way they should go. And that's what the scripture, rather, is teaching. We're giving them some direction. We're helping them make good decisions. My time is gone, but let me give you this.
I read an article about these shepherds in New Mexico. And in the early fall, when it started getting some snow, like they're seeing right now in the mountain areas, colorado, New Mexico, starting to get some snow, well, these shepherds would have their sheep go out, and what would happen is, when the snow would start falling, that the ewes would lose touch with the lambs. The lambs would be all around them, obviously not covered in as much wool as the ewes. And what they had happened, the shepherd said, is the lambs would lay down in the snow, the ewes would continue to graze, and the lambs would freeze to death. So when the ewes finally did come to the barn, they realized their babies are in the field. And while unbeknownst to them, while they were still grazing, as the temperatures were dropping, the babies couldn't survive and they died. So the ranchers devised, really a pretty simple, but an ingenious plan. You know what they decided to do? They were going to shave the heads of the ewes.
They shaved their heads so that when they were out in the fields with their babies and it started getting cold and started snowing, they would feel it. And when they began to feel it, they would make their way to the barn and their babies would follow them, and it saved the little ones.
Now, I know you're wondering where I'm going with this. I'm not encouraging you to shave your head, ladies.
What I am saying is this. Don't lose touch with your babies.
Be aware of them. Be cognizant of who their friends are, who they're hanging out with.
If sometimes you have to pull them away from a negative influence, pull them away from a negative influence. Do that. Pull them away, you said. Well, they'll throw a fit. Well, just throw a bigger fit. Outfit them.
You're bigger than them. You're the boss of them.
Don't weight 100 pounds in 1015 years. Too late. Why? Nobody loves that child more than you.
Children are a heritage of God. He put that child in your life as his ambassador, as his representative, to love and nurture them all you're doing is what he's designed you to do, and that is to raise them to the point you can release them into the world and pray they hit the target.
God help us to be better parents. Grandparents, let's pray. Lord, thank you for your word. Thank you for the joy it is just to communicate it to these amazing people.
And Father, when we study the Bible, we find that it is very powerful, very powerful. Sharper than a two edged sword, precise, but it's also very practical. We actually can take the principles that we learn and we can apply them. So, Father, I pray for my single parents here this morning. I pray for all my families who still have the kids in the house.
I know that those days feel long from time to time, and the pressure is great, but, man, if they could take it from somebody standing before them whose house is quiet now that the kids are gone, help them to realize these hours and days will go by so quick. Help them to live in the moment, to determine by the grace of God from this day forward, they're going to be the best parent they possibly can be to that child.
And Father, we pray for our kids. We're in a world that is dangerous. We're in a world that is deadly. So we lift our kids up, we pray protection over our children today.
And Father, our hearts and minds also go toward Israel this morning. We pray for peace in Israel, for the peace of Jerusalem. Father, we pray that in this dangerous and crazy world we're living in, Lord, you're still sovereign, you're still God over the world. I pray for peace. I pray, Father, that this world will turn and come to know you, regardless of the country, regardless of the circumstance, Lord, that people will realize there is a God who loves them. You're the God of Peace. So, Lord, finally, I pray if there's one in the room or one watching online that's never trusted you, that this might be the moment where they swallow their pride and say, lord Jesus, right now in this room, with everything I know about me, I trust all that I know about you. Come into my heart, forgive my sin. I pray this in Christ's name. Amen.
[00:43:37] Speaker A: Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you have any questions or prayer requests, please contact us by visiting that we can follow up with you this week. We look forward to seeing you next week. Bye.
