Healthy Children

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Thanks for tuning in to the Met Church podcast. Here at the Met, we are all about connecting people to God and one another. If you have any questions or want more information about what's happening here at the church, then head to our [email protected] we would love to stay connected with you throughout the week through social media, so be sure to connect with us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Now. Enjoy the message. [00:00:24] Speaker B: Well, good morning, everybody. We're in the series called Healthy and we've been talking about the, the significance, the importance of being healthy, healthy in every facet and phase of life. We started out talking about having a healthy heart, how important that is because the Bible says out of our hearts flow all of the issues of life. Everything begins from within. So we have to be sure our foundation is certain. And so we have to start with the heart. And we talked about what the heart looks like and what that means to have a healthy heart. And now we move to the second section of the series where we're talking about healthy homes and how important it is for us to have a healthy home. And last weekend, Corey talked about having contentment within the home and how healthy homes are homes that find contentment in the seasons and the series of life to have real contentment. The weekend before, I talked about healthy marriages and how important it is to work toward having a healthy relationship with your spouse. And this weekend I want to take the next step and, and talk about healthy children. How important it is to put the emphasis on healthy kids. Now, I don't know if you are like me, but I think it would have been better you don't let me back up. Have you ever wished God would ask your opinion about something? Don't you think you have good ideas? Don't you feel like from time to time you could bring something to the table that you can't. God can't learn anything because he knows everything. But I just feel like a little input might be good. And here's what I mean by that. Wouldn't it been helpful if when you have a child that that child would have come with some sort of an owner's manual? Wouldn't that have been great? Just, just amazing for, you know, for God to say, this is what is unique about this, because kids are unique. I mean, as we're going to talk about, the Bible talks about as arrows in the hands of a warrior. You know, so are the children in the family. And so arrows can look alike. Arrows can have the same markings. They can have the same fletching. You can put the same broadhead on an arrow and they look identical, but they will tell you that no two arrows fly exactly the same. Every arrow is different. They can look alike, come out of the same quiver, all the things like that, but every arrow is different. So I'm just saying it would be helpful, it would be beneficial if God would have said, okay, for this kid. This is what you need to know. Would that have been amazing? Or here's another idea. What if, like bowling, God gave you a practice kid, you know how you have that free ball before, you know, before the game start, God says, hey, this isn't the real kid. The real kid's coming. This is your practice child. You know, this is the stuff you can try out on it. Now we get practice kids, but they're called the firstborn children. How many firstborn kids in the house this morning? Right? God bless you, firstborn kids. You are the practice kids. You are the ones. The parent says, let's try this out on them and see how it goes. What's the worst thing that could happen, right on Oprah one day or Dr. Phil. But beyond that, you know, you get to practice kids. But the reality is, as we all know, that's not how it works. We kind of learn as we go. And I think you might also agree with me when I say most of us could have written a book on parenting until we had a kid. And once you have a child, a lot of those theories go right out the window because it is an on the job training situation. And you probably would also agree when I tell you parenting is absolutely the hardest job in all of the world. If you are engaged and you are trying to do it right, it is hard to be a good parent, to be involved. That's why when you go to the park and you see parents sitting on a park bench staring out in space while their kids are playing around them, that we all understand, that we just stay away from them because we know they're zoned out, they're just needing a little time to decompress. And so this idea of being a parent is a tough job. It is a tough job. And by the way, let me say this as I kind of go into this. Being a great parent doesn't mean you're going to necessarily have a great kid. I mean, sometimes those little boogers just twist off, regardless of the type home they were raised in, regardless of the job that you did as parents. And so I'm trying to help some of you with parent guilt. When the little kids kind of go off the reservation, they go off road and they start doing some crazy stuff. It is not an indictment on you as a parent if your child goes astray for a period of time. In fact, in Isaiah 38, there was a king by the name of Hezekiah, one of the most unusual kings to ever live in that he knew exactly how long he would live. He knew exactly when he would die. God had sent the prophet to the palace to say to the king, you're going to die, you aren't going to live. Set your house in order. And. And the Bible said, before Isaiah left the palace, God said, go back and tell the king I've heard his prayer. Because the minute the king heard that man, reality hit. And he said, God, I'm not ready to die. I want to live longer. There's things I still want to do. And so God told the prophet, tell the king I heard his prayer. I'm going to answer his prayer in the affirmative. And he'll have 15 years to live. Which he became the most remarkable person that I know of because he's the only person that I know of that knew exactly how long he would live. And he knew exactly when he would die. 15 years. And during that 15 year period of time, he and his wife had a son. And According to Isaiah 38, that kind of records this. Hezekiah said, I'm going to do the best I can with the time that I have to pour values into my son to teach him the ways of God. I want to be the best dad that I could be. Because it was three years into that 15 year extension when his son Manasseh was born. And so he knew, I've only got 12 years to pour into this boy. And when this boy turns 12, I'm going to be taken off the scene. So whatever values, whatever things of God, whatever positive things I can pour into this kid, I've got 12 years to do it. That's what Hezekiah knew. And so for those 12 years, I believe Hezekiah was an engaged parent. I believe Hezekiah did the best he could do with the time that he was given. I think he was teaching that boy all the values that he had learned. He knew the clock was ticking. He knew, I don't have much time. I'm going to pour everything I know into this son, into my son, and make sure he has the best shot he possibly can for a great life. But man, if you know the story, you read the record. The minute Hezekiah dies, Manasseh becomes a Very young king, because in succession he takes the throne. And he did everything the exact opposite of his father. He went the exact opposite direction. His father had faith. Manasseh recants his faith. His father worshiped God and believed God should be where. Manasseh didn't have any part of that. He didn't want any part of that. No part of God. He's done with God. Everything he did in terms of values and everything he did in terms of. Of moral character, Manasseh was the exact opposite of his father. So I'm saying, if you've got parent guilt and you go back and you go, I don't think I could have done anything differently in the time that I've given, you're in good company. Because I'm sure if Hezekiah had any way of knowing in heaven his son had turned out the way he did on earth, he probably would have been having those same thoughts. And it's only until you get to 2 Chronicles 33 that Manasseh's life changes. And in 2nd Chronicles 33, he hits the wall. He hits the bottom of his life. And he realizes for the first time ever that God has given me all that I have. God can take everything that I have away. And he was taking it away. They were invaded by the Chaldeans. They took him captive. And he's in a. He's in a dungeon. He's in the bottom of a dungeon. And when you read 2 Chronicles 33, it's astounding what he says. And he says, I reached out to the God of my father. It's interesting because for all of his life, with all the crazy he was doing, he never talks about his dad, and he never talks about his dad's God. But when he hit the bottom and when he went through what he was going through, for the first time in his life, he realized he needs God. And so that principle that we're going to talk about this morning, that when you train up a child in the way they should go, that. That when they're old, it didn't say when they're young, it said when they're old, they won't depart from it. So I hope I can encourage those of you who have raised kids and maybe they've gone a little off the reservation, and maybe they haven't done everything that you had hoped for, prayed for, wished for. But know this. You put good stuff in, that good stuff will come out. And it's a wonderful thing to know that when you do the best you can with the time You've been given that God will allow those principles and those lessons that are taught to those children to come to fruition. It's all a matter of timing. It may not happen when you think, but it will happen. God is a God that recognizes, because he put into play the law of the harvest, that you reap what you sow. In fact, look with me, if you will, in that proverbs that I referred to, Proverbs 22:6, and notice what it says. Many of you are familiar with this. Train up a child. Now, let me stop long enough to say, it didn't say train up a young man or a young woman train up a child. It means that the training that we employ as parents, we have to start early. You have to start early. Start when they're a child, Start instilling values and principles into them as a child. Train up a child in the way they. In the way that they would or should go. Rather, notice it didn't say in the way they would go. Because children have a desire to go a certain way that they might not should go. So while you have control, you can train them up in the way they should go as opposed to the way they would go. And then it says, and here it is, when they are old, they will not depart from it. And we've got some kids in the room this morning that would probably testify to that. Some of you grown kids that would say, yeah, there was a period in the season in my life when I kind of went off the reservation. I made some mistakes and I did some things probably that my parents weren't real proud of. Things that probably broke my mom and dad's heart from time to time. But look at where you are now. You're sitting in a service this morning. You're honoring God. And so that principle of the proverb has certainly been true in your life. And I'm saying, if it's true to you, it will certainly be true in the lives of kids. But let me also say that when you study the proverbs, remember, proverbs are not promises, they're proverbs, meaning this probably can happen. It's not a guarantee. When you study a proverb, there are principles that are taught that if you follow these principles, this is the possible outcome that you'll get. It's not a guaranteed promise. And so that's an important qualifier when you study the proverbs. And so this particular proverb is one that you certainly want to hang on to, because as hard as you work and as much as you pray. You have to know. There are no perfect parents. None of us did it right. You won't do it right. There's no perfect par. There are no perfect children, and there will be no perfect homes. No matter how hard you work to have a great home, it will not be a perfect home. I saw this little thing that said, it ain't home sweet home. So adjust. And I think that's true. In your home, you have to find balance. You have to find balance. I read an interesting article about the Golden Gate Bridge, how the Golden Gate Bridge was constructed. And it's really an incredible marvel of engineering and construction, the Golden Gate Bridge. But they said the Golden Gate Bridge is the dynamics that make it work are two things. One is the foundation and the other is its flexibility. Foundation and flexibility. And I thought, well, those are principles that make a housework. Having a good foundation, building it on something solid. And the Bible says in First Corinthians 3 that there's no better foundation than the foundation that you could build on, which is Christ Jesus. So we talk in our church all the time about don't build your home on the church, and don't build your home on teachings of the church. Build your home on Jesus. Let him be the rock, have that relationship that you have with Jesus, be the relationship you teach to your children. Now, there's nothing wrong with the teachings of the church, and there's nothing wrong with the church, but I'm saying foundationally, build it on him. That's the rock. He is the rock. He said to Peter, thou, Peter, you're a stone. You're Petros, you're a stone. But upon this rock. Speaking of himself, Petra, which means an immovable mountain. He said, I will build my church, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it. So you build with the foundation. Your home should be built upon Jesus. Build it upon him. And then the flexibility of the home means, man, you got to roll with it, baby. There's going to be things that are made good and bad. There's going to be some happy and sad times in the house. And so the homes that are homes that survive are homes that learn the value of being flexible. And so here he's saying that this principle of this proverb is given in light of the fact that there are no perfect parents, there will be no perfect children, and there certainly are no perfect homes. Because at some point, your kids are going to try you. They're going to take you on. At some point, they're going to push you a Little bit to see, you know, how far they can go. I heard about a mom. I've probably told you about her before. But it's just funny when I talk about this. She was going through a really tough time with her preteens. They were pushing the envelope. They were giving her a lot of grief. And so she was talking to a friend of hers who had already been through that season, and the friend was trying to encourage her. And the friend finally looked at her and says, well, I got to know. If you had to do it all over again, would you still have kids? And she said, yeah, I just wouldn't have the same ones. So. So we understand that kids are going to press you from time to time, but I can give you three things, and I think those of us who've raised kids will agree with this. Three things that I think every child needs in order to be healthy. Three things that every parent can provide for their child in order for that child to have a shot at being healthy. Number one, children need devotion. Children need devotion. Ephesians 6 says, don't stir up anger in your children. Bring them up in the training and the nurture or the instruction of the Lord. And what he's referring to there is this idea of bringing them up and not stirring them up to anger. He's talking about, kids need our. Our devotion. Kids, more than anything else need to know their mom, their dad, loves them. They need to know that that relationship with them is unshakable and immovable. You need to be able to communicate to your kids that no matter what they say or no matter what they do, though you may not agree with them and they might break your heart, they need to know you always love them and you're always a safe person, and your home is a safe place for them to come to. That's why it's so important that we start when they're a child. We have to begin to instill that in them so we can build the healthy relationship that we need to have with them. So children need our devotion. It is so important. So how does that. What does devotion look like? Well, I've got three practical things I could give you. Number one, learn to appreciate them. To appreciate the child that you have now. You know, appreciation, depreciation. We understand that when we buy anything, there's certain things you have that appreciate. And by definition, to appreciate means to add value. And when I say appreciate your kids, you are adding value to them. When you just say to them, I'm just so glad God gave me you I'm glad that I have you in our lot, in my life. I'm glad you are unique in that. God has created you and he's gifted you, and I'm so glad he's given me you. And I want you to know that I love you and I appreciate you. Kids need to be appreciated. The second thing I would say when we talk about devotion, I would say children need to be affirmed. Kids need to be affirmed. If you're not careful, the only time you really instruct them is when they're doing something wrong. And then you will instruct them and that. And you need to. But I'm just saying that you have to catch them doing something right. And every now and then affirm them in something that they're doing. That's right. That's good. Wow. You did that great. And begin to discern how your child is wired. Now. I know when they're young, you know, you're trying to put them in sports and you're trying to give them a shot for the arts. And you're trying. Because you're trying to figure them out. Remember, there's no owner's manual. And they're trying to figure you out. They're trying to figure themselves out. They don't really know what they're supposed to do with their life. So you put them in a lot of atmospheres and environments to kind of see what they excel at. And then once you say, wow, this child is artistic, I think this is a great thing for this child to do. I can give you a personal illustration of how Cindy and I worked through that in our own home. When Shannon went off to college, she was going to be and was a business major. But she was so frustrated halfway through her first year at college. Cause it just wasn't clicking for her. She didn't feel fulfilled in that. And so we began to think about how we could encourage her and how we. And so we talked to her and said, well, you remember every Sunday when you would come home from church, you would set up this whiteboard in your room. And she had all these dolls up on the shelves. And you would teach your dolls what you had just learned from Sunday school. And Cindy and I, we'd laugh. Cause we'd go by there and listen to her. She's a little girl in there going, well, now class, you know, and all this other thing. And she's teaching her baby dolls. And we said, maybe. Maybe that's something that you ought to consider. Maybe God's wired you up. So she began to Think about that and pray about. Well, she changed her major to elementary ed and graduated with that. Well, she's teaching first grade today because she found that unique gifting that God had given her. When Billy came along. Well, we still hadn't figured that one out. Pray for us. He'll be 40 pretty soon, Whitney. God love you. I don't know what we're going to do with that boy, but. No, when he came along, he was over at my mother in law, Cindy's mom's house one time and visiting with them. And he liked to go exploring up in their attic. And so he goes up in their attic and he finds. One of my brother in laws played drums when he was young. So he had a little trap set. It's a trap set. It's just a bass, a bass drum, a snare and like a hi hat. And they call it a trap set. Maybe one Tom. But he had this little trap set up in the attic. And so he finds that he's six years old, he's setting the trap set up and he starts playing on that. And instead of it just being noise and racket like you would think it would be, he actually had a little sense of rhythm. And then it got to where every time we went to a restaurant, he's got his fork and his knife and he's hitting on the ding. A ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I'm going for the love of God. So. So we kind of figured out, all right, he might be good at that. And so I'm saying, but I'm just saying that that's what worked for Cindy and me. And I'm saying with your children too, you start saying, okay, well, are they kind of gifted toward artistic? Are you seeing things that they're passionate about? Are you seeing things that they're really good at and just begin to pour a little gas on the fire that you see burning. That's where I think we start figuring out the uniqueness of our kids and affirm them and appreciate them when you see them doing something right. And then the third thing I would say under devotion is to adore them. Meaning that be sure that they know that you love them and don't be afraid to tell them that you love them. It's amazing to me, and I'll speak to the dads in the room, but it's amazing to me the number of men that I've talked to that are grown men with kids, many of them are granddads that don't have a lot of Memories of their fathers telling them, first of all, they were proud of them, and second of all, that they love them. Somehow men have this thing that, you know, that's not real macho. And our kids don't. They know I love them. I don't need to tell them. No, listen, I've talked to a lot of kids that grew up with dads like that, that thought like that. Trust me, they need to hear you say that. Moms are good because you're natural nurturers. You're. It's good for you. Men, you know, we've learned, you know, you gotta be tough and you can't be, you know, don't let your emotions show too much. And men have been taught wrong. And I'm telling you guys, one of the things your kids need to hear you say more than anything else in the world is I'm proud of you and I love you. And I think in this season of Life, it just may be that I'm in touch with where I am. I told you about a friend of mine. He and I are the same age. Several years ago, he's telling me, he goes, man, it just hit me. We're at halftime. We're midlife. God. Have you thought about that? I said, dude, at that point, I think we were like 52. I said, you're not gonna live to be 104. You're not mid life. You're not at halftime, dude, you're in the fourth quarter. The clock of the band has already been on the field. Dude, we're finishing it out. We're trying to get to the red zone. Are you kidding me? What are you talking about? Fourth quarter. I went, had the appointment with a surgeon last week. They're supposed to schedule me. I should know something this week about when we were gonna get that done. And he, he. So he's sitting there and he's telling me, he's. He's saying, well, you know, concerning this being a good option for me. And then he said, well, you have a. About a 15 year life expectancy. And I looked at him like, huh, you know, has that reality ever hit you? He tells me I have a 15 year life expectancy. I looked at him like a puppy hearing a siren. You know, you go, huh? I mean, I get it. I know where I am in this season of life. But guys, have you ever thought about that? I mean, I don't even want to think about that anymore. I mean, I'm going to push the envelope, right, and try to make that about a, you know, about at least give me 20. I mean, good Lord. But I don't even know where I was going with all that. But the point is, I know where I was going with all that. It's important that kids hear us say. Cause we don't know how long we're going to have to say it. And as I get older, that's where I was going. As I get older, I realize anything could happen. And so I want the last thing that they could remember hearing me say to them is I love you, you know, and I may be a little crazy about that, but I just want you. I'll put it in a text. Love you. And I, you know, I just, I if. Because you don't know. I mean, Craig, you can be 20 years old and you don't know. So I'm just saying as you get older, I think this means more. And one of the things I want my kids to have a memory of is that their dad and certainly have that memory of their mother. But their dad loved them and he was proud of them. Because I think having a healthy child has a lot to do with, with the devotion and the love that we lavish on them. So number one, they need our devotion. Number two, children need discipline. They need some discipline. Now listen, when you talk about discipline, the Bible never ever talks about abusing a child in any way. I know some of the old translations use words that lead you to believe that, you know, just, you know, just working the kid over and all that kind of thing. And. But the Bible never, in fact, Jesus even remember in Matthew when he said, if you abuse a child, it'd be better for a millstone to be hung around your neck and you'd be thrown out in the middle of the sea. So the Bible doesn't teach. When I say discipline or chastening, that is not child abuse. In fact, if a person goes over into that area, they need some help because the Bible does not teach that. But the Bible does teach that we need to discipline our children. They need that as much as they need devotion. Now some have kind of bought into this weird psychology that says if your child wants to saw the legs off the dining room table, then as a good parent you need to keep the saw blade sharp so you don't frustrate the little darling. Children need discipline. Listen to a Harvard study. This has not have anything to do with Bible, it's just common sense. A Harvard study said kids who are disciplined to do chores are more successful as adults. They have high marks in self confidence, pro social behavior. And self efficacy. The way to build self esteem in children is through doing esteemable acts. Meaning give your kids something to do, give them chores, make them responsible for some things. And discipline in the way. What discipline is, it's curbs. You never know the curbs are there till they stray off the road and the curbs are designed to keep them on the road. So discipline are. Boundaries might be another word if you use that in your home. But kids need boundaries, they need guidance, they need discipline. Listen back to Ephesians 6, verse 4. Do not provoke your children to wrath. That's devotion. But here's discipline. Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The idea in the Greek of bringing children up is to provide everything they need, meaning as a parent. We are to provide for them emotionally. And you gotta tune in with your child to know where they are emotionally. Some kids are hard to read. Some of you probably have kids that you know, you've, you're, you're. It's kinda like a combination lock. You're trying to figure out how to get em to talk to you and you can tell emotionally when they're not okay. And some of you, maybe a little retail therapy is how you get em to talk. Just you and them go and you buy them something and then isn't long until they're tall. Or maybe it's a. If you hunt or fish, maybe that's how you get them to open up. You take them and you have a little one on one with them and it'll take a little while but you are finding a way to get them to open up to you. Because emotionally you should be their safe person, emotionally you should be their safe place. So to bring them up, as Ephesians 6:4 says, it carries with it the idea of providing emotional health to your child, emotional support. And there are a lot of big kids that didn't have that and had gone to a lot of therapy to try to deal with the things that they missed out when they were a child. So I'm trying to help you a little bit and save you some money as an adult and save your spouse some frustration for having to live with you. To tell you when you are trying to bring up your children, make sure that, that their emotional needs are attended to. And I could say physical, but you know what that means? That means you take them to the doctor, that means you feed them, you know, you do that sort of thing. And then I would tell you the third thing and I'd compliment you for being Here and watching online, you see their spiritual needs to bring them up. Recognizes my child is a spiritual person. And you know the significance of having them in church when they're young, because the vast majority of people who receive Jesus as savior, more than 80% of those people do so before they become a teenager. So it's so important. It doesn't mean they don't come to Christ later in life. Certainly they do, but the vast majority of them, they take ownership of their faith young when you have given attention to their spiritual needs. And so I'm just suggesting you that bringing up a child, it's a lot of work, but it has the idea of attending to them emotionally, attending to them physically, attending to them spiritually, that's the idea of bringing them up. And then when it talks about nurture, it's an interesting word, Padilla. It means training, it means teaching. And there's a difference, by the way, between teaching and training, teaching and training. Teaching is verbal instruction, training is visual instruction. Think about it. For those of you guys that played football, when you are visually training that skull practice, we used to call it skull practice. When I played, it means you're on a whiteboard and they're. And they're running X's and O's and you're looking at schemes and you're watching film. And so that's skull practice. In other words, you're getting that in your head. Well, part of your training with your children involves skull practice. You are, you're teaching them verbally. You're saying to them, these are some things you need to do. And then sometimes it is visual, where you're actually illustrating what that looks like for them. You're actually demonstrating that some people, you are visual learners. Like, you could learn something about plumbing. If you can sit there and watch some guy do that, you go, I can do that. But if you just read it or you saw a YouTube how to, it's not the same as going and seeing someone actually physically do it. Well, that's what he's communicating. He's saying when it comes to our kids and we're teaching and training them and we're trying to discipline them in that way. It involves visible, visual, and it also involves verbal. And you say, well, why is this discipline necessary? Let me give you four reasons why disciplining a child is necessary. First of all, the Bible says, if you love your child, you will discipline them. Read Proverbs 13:24, Hebrews 12:6. Hebrews 12:6 says, those the Lord loves, he disciplines. So God Loves us. He disciplines us. Every child of God in this room, you and I live under the discipline of God. He will discipline us. According to Hebrews 12, he speaks to us. That's wrong. Don't do that again. If that doesn't work, there's consequences. It might be time out, it could be, but he'll discipline us. And so God has a direct way of dealing with his kids. And he said, those the Lord loves, he disciplines. And so you say, well, I just can't discipline my child. I love them too much. Well, I want to be kind, but I want to tell you the reason it's hard to discipline your child is you love you too much. Because if you love them, you see the value. And listen, by the way, you don't love your child any more than God loves you. He says, those the Lord loves, he disciplines. And so if you say, I love my child too much to discipline, then you're saying, well, God, I love my child more than you love yours. Because God says, my love is what drives me to discipline. Because. Because here's the thing. You as a parent, you're the first authority figure your child will ever see. And if they don't respect you, let me tell you something. And all the teachers will agree. They won't respect their teacher. And then if they don't respect their teacher, they won't expect that. Respect the law enforcement officer. And they don't respect the law enforcement officer. They're not gonna respect their boss when they get a job. And all that goes back to train up a child, not a young man or a young woman. Don't look, don't wait £100 in 10 years too late to start what I'm talking about. Start early and so provide this direction. It is for the love of the child. Second reason you discipline is for the nature of the child. Psalm 58, verse 3. The Bible said, in sin, my mom conceived me. We have a sinful nature. Our kids are just like us. And if we're not given some discipline in life, we're gonna go everywhere and we're gonna do about anything. Most of the time. Juvenile delinquency is a result of parental delinquency. Not every time. Go back to what I said in the minute at the beginning, that it doesn't necessarily mean your child is a result of bad parenting, but sometimes it is. Sometimes it is a direct result of parents who have neglected devotion and they neglected discipline in the lives of their child. And so I'm suggesting that the nature of the child demands discipline Number three, you'll love this one. How about peace for the parent? The Bible says in Hebrews 12:11, that discipline for your child brings about peace. Boy, there's so much peace after the war ends. And when you have a little bit of war in the house, there's peace, and the peace is wonderful. And so you win the peace as a parent. And then the fourth reason I would give you is you're protecting your child. Proverbs chapter 23, verse 14. A child with discipline. It is a means of protecting them because they know there are boundaries in life, and if I cross those boundaries, there's consequences. And that's an important, important principle for a child to learn while they are young. I burnt my clock. Let me give you the third one here. Not only do they need devotion, and not only do children need discipline. Number three, they need direction. They need some direction, a sense of where to go. Proverbs 22:6. Back to my. Back to my text. Train up in the Hebrew. Did you know the idea of training up is an image of the work of the midwife? When the midwife would assist in the birth of the child. One of the first things a midwife would do is they would take their finger in crushed dates and they would dip the finger in honey with those crushed dates, and they would stroke the palate of the child in order to get the child to begin to want nutrition. It was to stimulate the child to desire nutrition. Train up is to stimulate a desire for your child to want nutrition. Nutrition. What did Jesus say? Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied. So when we are stimulating an appetite in the lives of our kids, that means part of our role as a parent is to try to help them see the value of their spiritual life. Being healthy, emotionally, taking care of them physically. It's to stimulate that appetite so that when they're out from under your roof and they're living out on their own, those disciplines become a part of their daily routine. And that all goes back to the training and the teaching that you gave them when they were. When they were young. So this idea of directing them in the way that they should go. I referred to that verse earlier. I think it's the 128th Psalm which says, children are like arrows. I don't know how many of you have ever done any archery at all. But you know, just as those arrows are unique, with the same fletching, same fletching and markings and the broadhead. And just as you know, those arrows will not Fly exactly the same. They're all unique. But you have to, as a skilled person, you have to direct the arrow. You have to direct it. And as a parent, we are to kind of direct the arrow of our child in the way they should go. We have kind of a sense of an idea, and you kind of help them as they get older to kind of discover that. But as a parent, we're really giving our child a sense of direction. This is something you've always done well. This is something you were passionate about. This. What are you doing? You're pointing them in a direction. You're saying this is a good way for you to go. When it comes to their spiritual life, you can't force their commitment to the Lord. You can only pray for it. As much as I love my kids and my grandkids, I can't accept Christ for them, though they've all accepted Jesus. I can't do that, for they had to do that for themselves. My kids and grandkids have to own their own faith. All I could do is point the arrow in that direction and pray that it will continue to fly in that way. So I'm saying spiritually and physically, you try to teach them good disciplines, to be a good employer or a good employee, to work hard. All those values that you and I know and we learn the that will make you successful in life. That's pointing them in the way they should go. That's trying to give your child a sense of direction. That's trying to tell them their consequences for bad behavior. And there's reward for good behavior. And sometimes, guess what, you're going to fall and you're going to make mistakes, and sometimes you're going to be taken advantage of. And sometimes you will get bullied. And sometimes life is not fair. All of that, all of that. We all know that I'm talking to Noah about a flood right now. We all know that. But the point is, when we're giving them direction, we're just helping them navigate through that. We're helping them find their way. That's the idea of direction. So this morning, I, I, I, I want to tell you, if you're in the middle of that process, as a parent, man, be encouraged. Somebody as well said, you've heard this before, that the years are long. You heard that, but the days are short. Can I, can I tell you now, as a grandfather, how true that is? When our kids were little and Cindy and I would have them in church after a weekend, I'd be out in the lobby talking to people. I can't tell you the times I'd have somebody who's in my season now, who would come up to me in that season then and say, oh, Bill, you and Cindy better enjoy that. It goes by so fast. And you look at them kindly and y'all, thank you so much. You're going, what in the world? Are they smoking? No, you just think. Cause it just feels, you know, it doesn't. It doesn't. When you're in the middle of it, right? It just feels. I got all the time in the world, but, boy, all of a sudden, man, they're in middle school and they're in high school and they're going to the prom and then they. What in the world. Then they meet that person you've been praying for, and now they're serious about them. And you're thinking, this may go in that direction and they're heading out and all of a sudden they're out of the nest and they're out on their own. And you're looking at yourself in the mirror saying, I still feel 20. What has happened to me? And then I got a smart elic doctor going, well, you got 15 more years to live. Nobody's going to give you a 20 year mortgage, if you know what I mean. Pay off all that stuff early, man, you ain't going to be around, you know, anyway. But yeah, all of a sudden, man, reality kind of hits you, right? And you realize how fast this thing is going by. And can I tell you, I hope you're a success in business. I hope you're a financial success. I hope all those things and dreams and ideas come through. But can I tell you the greatest achievement, the greatest achievement in life is your children. The greatest achievement. Did you know the only thing you can take heaven with you when you go will be your kids. You can't take your reputation, you can't take your business. She's not taking any money. There's no U Hauls behind the hearse. All that stand behind, you know, it's all stand back. None of that's going. A great actor, Gene Hackman, passed away this last week. Somebody said, how much money did he leave? You know how much he left? All of it. All of it. You know how much we're gonna leave? Every dime. But the one thing that'll meet us on the other side will be those kids. Isn't that an amazing thought? So I'm just suggesting to your heart, as tough as it gets and as hard as it is, love, those kids pour into Those kids, pray for those kids. If they've gone off the reservation, don't give up on those kids. Just as God loved his kids when they twisted off, love your kids because they will, may possibly twist off, just keep loving them. Remember the prodigal's father. Every day that boy broke his heart. But every day the old man watched for him to come home. And one day on the horizon, that boy came home and that dad received him, welcomed him, forgave him. And that's what I'm praying for for some of you, that one day that child will come home. Well, keep praying for them. And if you're in the trenches and you're doing the work, realize it's going to go quick. So just, just do the best you can with the time that you have. And some of us grandparents in the room, we're going to applaud you and we're going to spoil our kids rotten and send them back home to you. So you know that's going to. But it's a great season. Let's pray together. Father, thank you for your love for us and thank you that as we study the Bible and we look at principles that we understand your word is so practical. I mean, we look at it and we laugh at it and we, we realize we can apply it. And it's because it's practical. And yet we know also it's powerful because it is your word. It's rhema, it's living. It's sharper than the two edged sword. It's able to do anything. And so, Father, help us as we walk from this building this morning to apply the principles of your word to our home. I pray, Father, that if there's a mom or a dad in the room or someone who's planning on having children in the room that never trusted you as savior, that this might be the moment when they humble their heart and they say, lord Jesus, with all that I know about me, I now trust all that I know about you. Come into my heart, forgive my sin. And I ask this in Jesus name. Amen. [00:42:25] Speaker A: Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you have any questions or prayer requests, please contact us by visiting metchurch.com so that we can follow up with you this week. We look forward to seeing you next week.