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[00:00:24] Speaker B: I'm glad you are here and we are continuing in our series the fruit of the spirit. And I hope the series is challenging you to examine your own life, to kind of be introspective and just to see if you are even to discern if you are someone who sees this. These elements of the fruit of the spirit growing in your life are these qualities that you are seeing in your everyday life. Because as we partner with God, as we yield to his control each and every day, the natural byproduct is his fruit. Fruit of the Holy Spirit will be developed in our life. What's interesting about this, as we study these different qualities of the fruit of the spirit each week, we understand that these are all great characteristics of God. Every time we talk about it, whether it's faithfulness, our goodness, our love, our peace, we understand these are great ways in which we can understand God. And this morning we're going to talk about one that I think is something that has been misunderstood by many. Oftentimes people resist it because it doesn't sound like strength, it sounds like weakness. But in order to really develop this element of the fruit of the spirit in your life requires a lot of strength. It requires a lot of maturity. And the element that we're going to be talking to you about this morning for a little while is this element called gentleness. Gentleness. Now look at our text in Galatians five, verse 22. But the fruit of the spirit, remember, is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness. And here we are. Gentleness. Gentleness. Now in Philippians chapter four and verse five, Paul exhorted the church at Philippi. He said this. He said, let your gentleness be evident unto all. Now, our culture does not prize gentleness. That is not an element. That is a natural response within our culture. And most of us be honest about it. It's not a natural response that we have, especially when we're offended. When we are offended, the knee jerk reaction is not to respond to an offense with gentleness. I mean, it's almost like if they bring a knife, you bring a gun, you want to go old testament on them, grab them and run under the house with them. You know, those are the natural responses. And I get that because we're all made of the same stuff. We all have our old nature within us. And remember, one of the things we talked about is this old nature is going to constantly be fighting with the new nature. In fact, I would tell you, if you aren't at war with yourself every day, you're probably losing the war, because it is going to be a struggle each and every day to yield to the spirit's control and not to do what I want to do, but to do the thing God would have me do. That's a battle that we're going to fight. Remember I told you last week, the Bible says we are to present our bodies, romans twelve, a living sacrifice. And remember, the challenge to a living sacrifice, as opposed to a dead sacrifice, is a living sacrifice will crawl off the altar.
And I promise you, when you present your body, a living sacrifice, it's not a one and done. You're not going to come and assemble here on Sunday or watch us online or listen to a podcast and go, that's it, man. I'm going to yield to God. God are done. I'm good until I get to heaven. It's going to be a daily struggle, because the natural response that you and I all have when we are offended is not to respond to the offense. Not the initial response, anyway, with this idea of gentleness and can I tell you about offenses? The Bible says in Luke, chapter 17, it isn't possible to live your life without offenses. You're going to be offended. You're going to offend people. It is not possible. The Bible said to live your life without offense. Think about your mourning this morning. How many of you came to church and you've already been offended by something or someone already?
You may be sitting next to that person. Don't look now, but that might be going on. I'm just saying you can't. I can't. We won't live our lives without offenses. So we have to understand, since we're gonna get offended and since we're going to offend, it's just the natural. How do we respond? I can't control what happens to me, but I can control how I respond to what happens to me. My dad used to say, son, you can't keep the birds from flying over your head. You can keep them from building a nest in your hair.
You can respond to offenses. And the Bible here says, this is not a. I'm telling you this is not a natural response. It is not natural to respond to someone who has offended you with gentleness. It's not natural here. It is supernatural. And the only way we can do that is through the power of the Holy Spirit. Now listen, that's one of the defining marks. That's a mark of distinction between a christ follower and someone doesn't know Christ is how we handle offenses. Now, anybody can handle success. I don't need to pray for, you know, when I'm in a great zone and things are going well for me, you know, you usually don't pray for people during those seasons, right? Pray for me, man. Everything's going great in my life. Uh oh. Okay. What would you want me to pray with you about? I don't know. Just pray that it'll continue. Maybe. I mean, you don't, but, man, when the wheels come off, that's when you say, oh, pray for me, man. Things are going terrible. I don't know what I'm going to do. Right? That's when we, when we pray, we need more help when we're offended, when we're going through those difficulties than we do in any other point in life. And so it is during those moments of my life when I'm going to an offense, when I'm going through oppression, when I'm going through opposition, I need the prayer so that God will allow his holy spirit to shine through me. Remember I said romans 829 says he is in a process of conforming us into the image of his son. I told you last week about the driftwood, the artist in Hawaii that created these great masterpieces out of driftwood. And I saw another artist in work one time, we were in Missouri, and this guy was great at carving things. He was a master at car. You could take a chunk of wood and make an incredible. Does that. Maybe it's just me. I get amazed at people that have those kind of talents. You know, that's not natural. Have you ever tried to whittle something? I mean, when I was in shop, we had, back in, when I was in school, we had something kids called shop class, and I took shop class. And so for my kind of my term project, I had to turn in a project I was going to make. You were given a certain amount of wood, and so you had to make something out of it. And so I turned in that I was going to make a birdhouse. That was going to be my term project. So I had enough wood, all this kind of thing. And so the teacher approved my project. So I started out. It started out as a birdhouse. And as I made my cuts, you know, they say measure twice, cut once. Wish I'd heard that in 7th grade.
So I messed some of my cuts up so I knew there's no way I can't get, there's not even, there ain't a hummingbird that's going to get in. I don't have enough wood.
It's just not going to happen. And so I go back and I say, can I, can I change this? I made some mistakes. And he goes, yeah. What would you change it to? I said, maybe a little toolbox for mini tools or something. And so he said, okay, you know, you're in the top my class anyway. You're a D student, so why wouldn't I?
So anyway, so I turned it back. So I got. And then, true story. Not that I would tell you something that's not true. I don't know why you have to say that.
I'm not lying now. I'm preaching. I'm telling you the truth. But anyway, the point is what I ended, you know, what I ended up turning in. It was a pencil holder.
As I stand before you and God, a pencil holder. And it wasn't even level. It was like it rocked a little bit.
Terrible at that sort of thing. I think I had a mechanical bypass early on in my life, but. So I'm amazed by people that can take wood and make amazing things out of it that they're artisans. And I asked a guy, as he's working on this, how do you do that? How do you do it? He said, well, when I look at this piece of wood, I first of all envision what I want to do with it, what it could be. And then he said, I began to work on it, and he said, I cut away everything that doesn't look like what I want that to end up being. And I thought, man, that's a great sermon. Illustration. I mean, God looks at our lives and he, he starts with what we are and where we are, but then he does this process of cutting away everything that's not necessary so we can be who he has created us to be. It's the pruning. It's preparing. God is pre. You ever thought about the word prepare? Pre is to do something before time. Pare, you know, a paring knife is to cut and carve. And so when God is preparing, he's doing something ahead of time through a process of cutting and carving. And ultimately, according to Romans. I'm sorry. Yeah, no, that's right. Romans 829. He's conforming us into the image of his son. He's cutting away stuff that doesn't need to be there. That's why we can thank him not only when the times are good, we can thank him when the times are bad, because whatever we're going through, he's always good. I've told you before, when you know what he's up to, he's up to something. When you don't know what he's up to, he's up to something. When you see him at work in your life, he's working. When you don't see him at work in your life, he's still working. God is planning. He's working in my life. And that process will continue, folks, until one day I step into his presence. And so a lot of what we're going through, God is developing these qualities that, listen, ultimately make us stand out in a dark world. And listen, nothing will make you and I stand out any more than when we respond to an offense with gentleness. Man, that goes in contrast with the world. We're living in the age of rage. Have you noticed? Everybody's mad about something, and they get mad at you, and you're like, dude, I don't even know you. You're tooling down the road, and this guy's, like, coming up behind you like he's on the fourth lap at NASCAR. And so you're trying to, you know, you try to get out of his way before, and you didn't get out his way quick enough. So he takes about the first front quarter off your bumper as he gets around behind you, and then he tells you one way, Jesus. As least what I thought he was doing, maybe it was something else, I don't know.
And so I tell you, my initial reaction in my flesh is not to respond like that.
Old Bill wants to run him down, you know, that's old Bill, new bill, Pastor Bill doesn't. I have to check myself before I wreck myself. I have to be careful. That's why I tell you. I tell you, if you have a problem with that when you get behind the wheel, please don't put one of our bumper stickers on your car.
I've told you that before. Don't put milestone Keystone.
Don't put Matt church on your car. If you have a little problem with anger. And I'm saying that is something we all deal with. Everybody deals with something, right? You're just living in the age of rage. Everybody is mad about something. So I'm saying, you're going to stand out when you respond in a different way, when you respond with gentleness instead of anger, and you respond to people in that way. In fact, listen to proverbs 15 four. A gentle tongue is a tree of life. You want to be a life giving person. You want to go into your home and into an environment and make a difference, then use gentleness. Use gentle words. The Bible says it's a tree of life. People live off of those who learn how to be gentle. Gentleness is to have every instinct, every impulse, and every passion harnessed. You think about meekness. Jesus said, blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Let me tell you what Meekness is not. It's the first cousin of gentleness. Meekness is not weakness. I told you earlier, it doesn't take strength to respond in anger. The Roger age incident and I just kind of laughed about a moment ago. We laughed about that doesn't take strength to respond to someone in kind. It takes strength not to respond to someone in kind.
It takes strength to let an offense go. You say he just violated my rights.
Well, if I can help you with that. Jesus took all my wrongs, so I can give up a few rights from time to time. And so I'm just suggesting to your heart this morning that it takes a strong person to be meek. You know what the word meek means? It means strength under control.
They used to say about a horse when they were breaking a horse, that they were meeking the horse. Now, you look at the average horse and the average rider. That horse is far more powerful, far stronger than anyone that will ever handle that horse. But the reason the horse will submit to the hand of its trainer or the hand of its owner is the horse has been properly trained. The horse is meek. It has its strength under control, and that's the quality of the Holy Spirit. It's not a sign of your weakness. It's a sign of your strength. When you can let an offense go, when you know when to stand up and when to speak up and when to sit down and when to be quiet. That's wisdom, discernment, and it is strengthen. It is the quality of the Holy spirit. And it flies under this umbrella called gentleness. Where does it begin? Well, first of all, gentleness begins in the heart. It's a heart issue.
And if we can't conquer that within our heart, it'll never be evident in our life. Remember, the fruit of the spirit is the work of God within us. The demonstration of that fruit is the work of goddess outside of us. We talked about faithfulness last week. The difference between faith and faithfulness. Faith is what happens within me. Faithfulness is what I do with what I have within me. It's the natural working out of that. Faith in my life demonstrates itself in faithfulness, the same thing with gentleness. When gentleness is something that takes root in my heart, it will bear the fruit of gentleness in my life. So gentleness is a matter of the heart. Listen to Matthew 1129 concerning God. I am gentle and humble in heart, and when you come to me, you will find rest for your soul. Listen to how God is described in Isaiah 40, verse eleven. God gently leads those who have young. He looks at those ewes as they have those little lambs. And the shepherd, the good shepherd, the great shepherd, he gently, he knows they can't stay up. He knows they are limited because they have those little ones with them. And so the shepherd doesn't cater to the more mature, he caters to the immature. And he gently leads those with young. What's he doing? He's setting the example.
You see, if you have God within your heart, gentleness can be a quality of your life. So never, as a Christ follower said, I just can't do that.
I can't be gentle. I can't respond to an offense with gentleness. That's just not who I am. That's just, yeah, you're wanting me to be. Yeah, I'm wanting you to be someone you're not. I'm wanting you to be a transformed person, not a conformed person.
I want you to demonstrate your new life and quit living out of your old life. So for a Christ follower, it's never the argument, I can't change this word. I won't.
That's the difference. Because when you are yielding to the work of the Holy Spirit in your life, anything is possible.
You remember the sons of Thunder, John and James, when they met Jesus, they were the sons of thunder. How'd you like to have that nickname? Here comes old Thunder man. When she walks in the room, whoo, it is going to get noisy and rough. He comes in there, he'll stir the pot. And we have personalities like that, don't we? I hope there's none in here, but we have personalities like that that they just bring their little storm with them. Drama everywhere. They just, drama everywhere they go. They just, oh, my God, here they come.
Well, that was James and John and they became part of Jesus disciples, part of his twelve, his core sons of thunder. But they didn't change overnight. In fact, there was on one occasion when Jesus was going back to Jerusalem. And the shorter route would have been to cut through the land that was owned by the Samaritans. But the Samaritans didn't have any dealings with the Jews. And the Jews were the Samaritans. Racial issues, religious issues, they hated each other. And Jesus was like, well, if we kind of cut across this property through the Samaritans, we can get to Jerusalem faster. But the Samaritan says, you Jews aren't coming across our property and they wouldn't let them cross the land.
You know what sweet John said? Jesus, let's just call down fire from heaven and burn them out.
Well, isn't that sweet?
Oh, that's sweet. Let's just burn them out. Let's just call in an airstrike and let's just nuke them to the stone Age. Well, they were in the stone Age. Let's just new come back. No, they weren't. They were past that.
But the point is, when you look at John and you look at how he ended, don't look at where he started, look at where he ended. Did you know there's not an apostle in the Bible that wrote more about love than John?
You remember when Da Vinci paints the Lord's supper? You don't remember he had them all get on that side of the table so he could paint that. Remember that? And the one that da Vinci painted, that's leaning over on the chest of Jesus in the painting, he depicted that as John. And you know why? Because John was the soft hearted. One of the group, John would refer to himself, I'm the apostle that Jesus loves. In other words, I'm the favorite. You feel like you're the favorite in your family? That's how John was. Now, you may not be, but he felt that he was. In other words, people can preach better than you. People can do a lot of things better than you. But let me tell you what nobody can do better than you. Nobody can love Jesus better than you.
And John said, man, these guys may have more gifts than me, more abilities than me, more talent, but they're not going to love Jesus more than me. I love him with all my heart, soul, mind, all that I am. I love the Lord Jesus. And I'm the apostle Jesus loves. And what did he write about? He write about love. Now, what happened? John transformed.
He went from a. He went from a son of thunder to an apostle of love.
What happened? John got out of the old nature and got into the new nature. And he allowed the holy spirit of God to transform his life. Gentleness begins in the heart. Quickly now, gentleness also. Gentleness also happens in the home.
Did you know? Real faith and real Christianity begins in the home, the place where we know who you are and the place where you know who they are and the place where you are transparent and authentic. The place where it begins in the home. Remember that beautiful story of ruth in the Old Testament? Four short chapters. But what a great love story. And one of the things that attracted Ruth to Boaz is in Ruth, chapter two, verse 20. Listen. He has not stopped showing his kindness and his gentleness to ruthenhenne man. Boaz, as strong as he was, as wealthy as he was, as successful, he was a big, strong man. But the thing that captured Ruth's heart wasn't just his money, it wasn't just his strength. All those things were great qualities. But that isn't what won her over. What won Ruth's heart over was a gentle, a kind man. She saw something in his heart that knitted her to boaze. She said, I've had strength before.
I've had that. I've been down that road, and I've been hurt by that before. I want someone now that is gentle and is kind, and that is the thing that knit Ruth's heart to Boaz. And I'm saying gentleness ought to be an element of our home. And when you have gentleness in your home, it communicates love. Colossians 319, husbands, love your wives. Listen, be gentle with them. Be gentle with your spouse. Love them with gentleness. Ephesians six, fathers, don't exasperate your kids. Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. I told you, I read somewhere where somebody wrote cynically, home is where you go when you're tired of being nice to people.
Isn't that a shame?
And when you think about it, a lot of times we're nicer to strangers, and we're nicer to people on the job than we are to people at home, because we feel like, I've got to be, you know, I'm a salesperson. I'm in that industry. I've got to be nice to everybody. But when I go home, I'm going to be myself.
And we tend to take it out on the people who love us most.
Let me tell you something about your customers and your clients and the people you interact with. None of them are going to be there for you if you get a bad diagnosis.
They're not going to be there to help you when you go through the valley in your life. They're not going to be there to love you. When things start going wrong, and eventually things will go wrong, they're not going to be there for you. But I'm suggesting that person that loves you and that's committed to you and is at home for you, they deserve our gentleness. They deserve our gentleness. So it communicates not only that, gentleness is persuasive. Proverbs 16, verse 21. The sweetness of lips increases persuasiveness. In other words, if you really want to get along and you want to have more things your way, try being gentle, being forceful. How's that working for you? Being demanding? Has that really moved anybody's heart? How about trying gentleness? It's persuasive.
Proverbs 20 515 a gentle word can get through the hardest hearted person. A gentle word can overcome any problem.
So all of us are called upon according to scripture to react and respond to one another with gentleness. Here's one other thought on that gentleness will earn respect. Proverbs 1116. A kind word earns respect. So gentleness is in the heart. Gentleness is in the home. Let me give you another thing to think about this. We should be gentle. Are you ready for this? With the hateful.
Gentle with the hateful. Matthew 543 love your enemies. Remember, this ain't natural.
Love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your father. Let me give you some practical reasons why being gentle with people who are hateful is a good thing. Number one, it will de escalate conflict. We have a lot of law enforcement people in our church. Many of them are in here. And one of the things that they will tell you that they are trained to do is to de escalate conflict. And they say, when somebody is raising their voice, you lower your voice. And the reason that happens is because scientists have identified something in our brains called mirror neurons, and we tend to reflect the emotion of the person we're facing. When they're angry, we tend to be angry right back. Mirror neurons, we mirror that emotion. And he's saying, if you want to practice good psychology and you want to practice good theology, then try a different approach. De escalate. And gentleness is a great way of de escalating conflict. Proverbs 15 one. The Bible talks about this value of approaching anger with gentleness. Not only does it de escalate conflict, it will disarm your critics. There are people you're going to have in your life, and you probably have people in your life today who are addicted to anger.
They thrive on anger. They're mad all the time. Feeling bad feels good to them.
And so you have to figure out how to deal with that type of person. Listen to one. Corinthians 413. When they tell evil lies about you, speak nice words about them.
It is a different response and a different reaction that will deescalate the conflict. It will disarm the critic. It will show you standing head and shoulders above those when they're coming at you. When they are hateful, you respond to them with gentleness.
Now, let me tell you what I'm not talking about. Gentleness does not mean to accept abuse.
Gentleness does not mean to defend yourself. Not to defend yourself. Rather, in Matthew, chapter five, verse 39, the Bible says, if somebody strikes you on the right, turn your left. That's talking about not seeking revenge. That's not the principle of that. When you read that in context, turn the other cheek is not saying you don't offend yourself. It is saying you shouldn't seek revenge on someone. Right. It means if they sack the quarterback, you don't go after their family.
You don't seek revenge. It is not teaching that you're not to take up for yourself or you're not to defend yourself. Remember, weakness is not a. You're not to be a doormat. You're not to allow people to abuse you or to walk over you. And I've got some practical information I can just share with you. This is free like the rest of it. When you study the conflict that Abram had with his nephew lot in Genesis 13, there's several different things that Abram did to try to handle this toxic, hateful person that he had in his life. And if you've got a toxic, hateful person in your family or in your life and you're trying to deal gently with them, let me give you four things based on this passage in genesis 13 that you can do. Number one, start with a conversation. A conversation. You need to talk with them. Abraham talked with. Lothehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe the first step is you need to tell this person how their behavior is affecting you. For one thing, it gives them the information. You let them know. Your words are hurtful to me. Your actions are painful to me. And so you begin with a simple conversation with that person. Two corinthians ten six says, you speak the truth. Speak the truth in love. But you need to begin with a conversation. Start with a conversation. All right. What if that doesn't work? What's the next step? Limitation.
Limitation. You set boundaries, you deal in dosages, you deal with them and you determine the dosage. You say, you know what? I can't handle this person. I'm going to deal with them as little as I have to, as infrequently as I need to. You're in charge of the dosage. I'll see them once a week. I'm limiting them. I've had the conversation. They know how their behavior is affecting me. They know how they're toxic and it's hurtful to me. They've done nothing about it. And because they've done nothing about it now, I'm going to limit my time around them. I'm going to limit my time with them. You're in control of that. So you have conversation limitations. Set boundaries. Number three, separation.
Separation. In other words, you suspend interaction with them for a period of time. And during that period of time, you decide whether this relationship is worth salvaging.
Now, that doesn't mean you don't love them. That doesn't mean you don't pray for them. That just simply means you can't deal with them, because trying to help them is hurting you.
And somebody that has those type of emotional or toxic issues in their life, you don't have enough emotional energy to pour into them.
And so what you simply do is you have to say, I've had this conversation. I've limited my time. That's not working. I'm going to separate myself. I'm going to saturate your presence with my absence, and you're in control of that. Maybe you see them at Christmas and Easter, like a lot of our members.
You just say, you know what? I'm just going to deal with them just a couple of times a year. That's all. You know, it's just we're going to do some touching goes. And so you're, you are in. I'm saying you're in charge of that.
Don't allow yourself to be victimized or be abused. That's not what gentleness indicates. That's not what lot did with, I'm sorry, what Abram did with his nephew. Lot. And then, listen, if conversation limitation separation is not going to work, here's the fourth and final one, elimination. I don't mean go kill them.
What I mean by that is you simply terminate the relationship.
I can't deal with them anymore. Turn them over to the Holy Spirit. Pray for them. Love them. Yes, but you just say, I can't deal with this person anymore. I can't have this person in my life, in this season. I can't have this relationship and be healthy. Listen, love is something that is given, but access to you is something that has to be earned. Did you get that?
Love is something you freely give them, but access to you has to be earned.
You don't have to let them inside the house. You don't have to let them anymore inside your heart. You say, this person has proven to me they are toxic. They refuse to change. And so I've tried conversation, I've tried limitation. I've tried separation. Now it's elimination. They are out of my life, and I am moving on. And I've turned them over to the Holy Spirit, and I'm gone. That's gentleness. But it's gentleness with the hateful. Here's the last thought then. You have gentleness with the hurting.
Gentleness with the hurting. And, man, our world is full of hurting people. We have hurting people in this room.
The Bible says in Galatians chapter six, verse one, brothers and sisters, if someone is overtaken, an assault. Now, what does that expression mean? Overtaken, an assault? Paul used analogy of runners all the time racing toward a goal, finish the race right. He used running analogies a lot. Overtaken, an assault means a person is walking down the road and suddenly something overtakes them, overcomes them, breaks them down. All of a sudden they're hit by something out of, they're broadsided. Something hit them out of the blue, hit a blind spot. Right? All of a sudden they're overtaken by a fault. They go down, they're hurt, they're broken. Listen to what he says. Galatians six one, you who live by the spirit. Now that's the qualifier. Who should respond to a hurting person? It ought to be the people who are yielding to the Holy Spirit. We're trying to be gentle. You who are filled with the spirit, you who are living by the spirit, listen, keep reading. Galatians six one should restore that person. What does that look like? What does restoration mean? Restoration is, in this context, in the greek language, is the same word that's used to reset a bone. Restoration is to reset a bone. I don't know if you've ever broken a bone. I have.
If you've ever gone to the ER to have them deal with that broken bone, let me tell you the one thing you're most interested in. When they're dealing with a broken bone, you want them to be, are you ready? Gentle would you agree? Be gentle. You put that ankle, that arm, that body part on that table, and you. The first thing you want this is hurting. Where are we on the. From a happy face to this screaming thing in pain. I'm over there on the other side of the screaming thing in pain. Okay. What you want is them to be gentle. Well, that's what he's saying. He's saying when you have someone walk through the doors of your church and they're broken, maybe they're going through a divorce, or they've come out of one, or maybe they've had a job loss, or maybe they've just got a horrible diagnosis. Maybe they've lost a child. Maybe they've lost someone they love. Maybe they're going through something that no one knows. They're struggling with some addiction. There's something going on in their world that is devastating. What that person needs from that church more than anything is gentleness. Gentleness. In other words, our goal is to try to reset that bone. We want to get you back in the game. We want to get you back out on the field, and we want to try to help you. And so we are to be gentle with the hurting. Matthew 1220. He says, a bruised reed, will he not break, and a smoldering wick, will he not snuff out? He used two of the most frail things, a bruised reed. You think about a plant, a stem of a plant that's bruised. It's bent, it's not broken, but it's Bentley. He's saying, I'm going to gently try to support that bruised Reed. I'm not going to break it. I'm going to support it.
This candle that is smoldering, there's still just enough fire to give off smoke, but it's not the fire that used to light the room. So what I'm going to do is nurture that little smoldering wick until it becomes a flame again.
That's why I've told you before, a lot of the people that come to our church, we don't need to put them right back into service.
They're going through something. They may have had a bad church experience.
Now, let me. I've told you before, if you hadn't been hurt in church, you just didn't go long enough.
Hang around, baby. Somebody will run you down to the glory of God.
Something will happen to you in church. You know why? Because the devil knows the value of a church experience.
He knows how important it is for us to love and support one another.
And if he can take that away, make you cynical and bitter about your church experience and get you off your team, and not even in the grandstands, not. You're not even in the ballpark anymore. That's all he. Mission accomplished.
You say I'm looking for a perfect church. Well, you won't find it.
And I'm telling you, if you ever find one, don't join it. You'll mess it up.
Listen, the best any of us will ever be. Are you ready? The best we'll ever be are sinners saved by grace.
That's why I would tell you, don't put a pastor on a pedestal.
Don't put a leader on a pedestal. Don't do it. You're setting yourself up. I'm saying, by the grace of God, we're here. The only thing perfect about this church is we serve a perfect savior. And I preach from a perfect Bible, and I don't even always live up to it. I have to repent myself of what I've taught myself.
And I'm just saying, that's it. That's it. It's just this idea that somebody described a Christian as a beggar telling another beggar where we found bread.
But we need each other.
We need each other. We support each other. We're to love each other. We're to pray for one another. We're to serve one another. We're to care for one another. Read all the one anothers in the Bible. Right.
And we're especially to be gentle with those who are hurting. That's why I say sometimes people just need to walk through the doors of our church and sit down and be ministered to.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is take yourself off the field, go to the bench and say, I'm hurting, and allow yourself maybe to go into rehab.
I've told you before, we have people in the medical profession in our church as well, and they'll tell you ICU is necessary.
But the reason you go into ICU is to get you out of ICU.
They don't want you staying in there. Not that they don't love you and they don't care for you, but they know you don't need to be in there long term. We're trying to get you to the next floor so we can get you out of here. We want to treat you and street you. We want to get you on your way, healthy and happy.
Now, I'm saying a church ought to be that way. I don't want to keep you on the sideline. But you may need to be on the sideline till your heart heals, until you have a chance to be restored, until you get your strength back, until you feel I'm ready to go back in the game. And when that time comes, there's a place of service for you. We need you. But I'm saying in the meantime, we need to be gentle. Gentle with the hurting. Let me share this. And I'm closing. King David united the twelve tribes of Israel. They were divided. When King David came, he united them. His son Solomon not only kept the kingdom united, but he strengthened the kingdom. When Solomon passed off the scene, his son Rehoboam became king. And when you read the story in one KIngS twelve, it's all in that chapter. It's incredible. The older men came to the young king and they said the smartest thing you could do would be to lead the people and serve the people and speak to the people. And they described it this way, gently, gently. You're a young leader. You've got a lot to learn. Don't try to exert yourself and don't try to lord over anybody. Just because you have, you know, the title doesn't mean that's who you are. And you earned that right.
Let me share this with you. When I became pastor of First Baptist Church at Fort Worth, I was 25 years old, just following my father.
One of the first things I did is I went to see Wa Criswell at First Baptist, Dallas. He became a mentor to me in my early ministry. Loved him a lot. He had forgotten. He had forgotten more about church in the Bible than I'll probably ever know.
And he told me one time, I said, what advice would you give me? It was my first year. I was a pastor of that church, 25 years old. Can you imagine?
One of the most historic churches, and I'm 25 years old.
All the leaders in the church were old enough to be my dad and grandfathers. Most of them had seen me grow up. They were there when I was born, and now I'm their pastor. You know what he said? He said, bill, just because you have the title doesn't mean that's who they're going to see you as being. He said, you'll win them over one family at a time, one life at a time. That's how you win them over. And you'll never lead them until they're sold on your leadership. And that'll happen in the good times. It'll happen in the bad times. They're going to watch you when you're on the mountain. They're going to watch you when you're in the valley, and before they ever follow you, they're going to have to have confidence in you. Be authentic, be transparent, be holy, be everything that you represent yourself to be. And over time, they'll follow you as their pastor. What great advice.
He pastored for over 50 years. I know you saw, as I did, a heartbreaking thing to see that old sanctuary burn. This past week in Dallas, he invited me to preach for him. I had the honor of preaching in that sanctuary one Sunday. Cindy and the kids were with me. It was a great honor. What a great privilege to stand in that pulpit where George Truitt had stood, where Wa Criswell had stood. Billy Graham was a member of that church. What an honor. But I'm just suggesting to you that gentleness is the hallmark of a true leader, not arrogance. When you see an arrogant leader.
I got discouraged going to, can I just share this with you? My clock's burnt. But let me. I got this on my chest. I'd go to pastors conferences from time to time because that's what you're supposed to do. I'd rather hang out with the longhorns, to be honest with you. But anyway, I'd go because you're supposed to go to the pastor's conferences. And I'd leave discouraged because I met some of the guys that I'd had up, you know, on a pedestal, and they were arrogant. Not all of them. Some of them were just arrogant, cocky, haughty. I wasn't going to kiss anybody's ring or anything else about them. And I thought, if that's what it is to be a leader, you become arrogant.
I mean, I look in the Bible, and Jesus washing the feet of his disciples, humble, gentle. I thought, that's not. It repulses me, the arrogance. And I used to think some of these guys, I knew, when their churches were small, they were humble. I could call them. They'd call me. I didn't have to call them lord so and so or king so, and I'll just call them by their first name, right? They reach some status, and all of a sudden they're, oh, they tie a donkey and they ride in Hosanna, the pastor's here.
And I just thought, did the success that they. If you call that success, did that make them who they are?
Did that make, you know, he said, oh, they were so humble till they got a lot of money. And now they're, you know what I've come to conclude this is just a theory. It's a theory. I think they were that way all the time.
I think what the money did and what the success did, it gave them the opportunity to be the jerk they've always been. That's just my humble opinion.
I think if you're humble and you're genuine and you're authentic, you're going to do that with 20 people in your church, and you're going to do that with 20,000 people, and you're going to do that in business, too. You're going to do that in every area of life. It shouldn't change you. It should reveal the true nature of who you really are. Now I'm back to rehoboam.
When those older guys said, rehoboam, lead with gentleness, lead with humility, he went to the younger guys. This is all in one kings twelve. And the younger guys said, the more inexperienced said, no, that's a sign of weakness. If you go before those people with gentleness and humility, they're going to think you're weak. You need to be forceful. You need to let them know you're in charge. You're the king and this is going to be your way or the highway. And he took the advice of the inexperienced, and you know what happened? The kingdom divided. He lost his kingdom.
The old guy said, man, just leave with gentleness, lead with humility and the people will follow you. But the minute you get arrogant, pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. You better be gentle or you'll lose your kingdom. And Rehoboam Washington, harsh and rash and prideful, unlike his father David, grandfather David and his father Solomon, and he lost the kingdom. I'm telling you, you can lose your home, you can lose your business, you can lose your standing with arrogance and pride. But humility and gentleness is a quality that makes you never more like Jesus. Let's pray together.
Father, I pray that spirit of gentleness and humility will be a hallmark of our church.
Father, help us never to think of ourselves more highly than we ought to think.
You raise one up and you bring another down. This is about you, Father. Help us always humbly understand that we are your servants, the sheep of your pasture.
We're totally dependent and interdependent upon you and your holy spirit.
Help us to walk through life humbly, to deal with people gently, to understand, Father. We give away the thing that we want back in our life.
And help us, Lord, to deal gently because we want to have gentleness come back toward us and finally, Lord, I pray for my friends who may never have trusted you, that where they are this morning, they'll humble their heart right there and say, Lord Jesus, with all that I know about me, I now trust all that I know about you. Come into my heart, forgive my sin. And Father, I'll ask this and praise you in Jesus name. Amen.
[00:43:27] Speaker A: Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you have any questions or prayer requests, please contact us by visiting metchurch.com so that we can follow up with you this week. We look forward to seeing you next week.
