Divine Disciplines for Healthy Homes

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Thanks for tuning in to the Met Church podcast. Here at the Met, we are all about connecting people to God and one another. If you have any questions or want more information about what's happening here at the church, then head to our [email protected]. We would love to stay connected with you throughout the week through social media, so be sure to connect with us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Now enjoy the message. [00:00:24] Speaker B: Morning, everybody. Glad you are all here. Hope you're having a wonderful day. We're glad that you've spent part of your day with us this morning. Had a great men's breakfast. Some of you guys were there. We had a packed house at 930. I think most of them hung around for that service for early Mass. But we had Don Graves. He is a World War II veteran, 98 years of age. And he spoke for us for the men's breakfast he served on Iwo Jima. And it was amazing hearing his story of how God brought him through that, the lessons he learned from that, and the faith that he found through that. And so we have recorded that. By the way, if you want to get a copy of that, you can. We'll be able to make that available to you before too long. But I'm glad you're here. We had a large number of volunteers. It was pouring down yesterday. Did you notice that? It was just pouring down. And they went out and served the CRC. Hundreds of families. We're now over gosh 900 to 1000 families every week that we're able to provide food for because of your generosity and your willingness to serve. Give yourself a hand. Thank you for that. That's really awesome. All right, this morning I want to close out this series, Table Talk. And it's been a series where we've been talking about the importance and the significance of families. Now, I'll tell you right up front, there's no perfect families. There are no little houses on the prairie. I saw a sign one time in a little store that said, so it ain't home sweet home. So adjust. Right? Isn't that a pretty good word? Just adjust. Deal with it. Every home is a little different. Every home has its own dynamic. And I can tell you this, that all of us have in common, and that is there is an assault on the family today. Now, understand, there were three institutions that God established on the earth. He established the family. You go all the way back to the Garden of Eden, therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife. They too shall be one flesh. You have the establishment of the family, and then you have the establishment of government. God established government. Romans talks about the significance of government to pray for those who serve us in that way. And then thirdly, Jesus established the church, the third institution, while here on earth, he said upon this rock, speaking of himself, I will build my church, and the gates of hell will not be able to prevail against it. And I have found, and I think you might agree with me as well the farther I go, the longer I live, the more I learn. I understand that as a home goes, so goes a church. And as a church goes collectively, so can go a nation. So we have a great responsibility, not just to our children and our grandchildren, but to our communities, to our churches as well, that we strive to have healthy homes. Now, I believe that the key to a happy home. When you ask most people, what kind of home will you want? They say, I want a happy home. Well, we all want a happy home, but I believe that the key to a happy home is a healthy home. And if we will set an objective to have our home to be healthy, healthy in our relationships, healthy in our interactions with one another, the healthier our homes are, the happier conversely, our homes will be. Now, I don't remember if you remember or I don't know how many of you remember, I'll put it that way, buying your first home. Cindy and I hadn't been married very long. We were living in the apartments, like most young people, young couples do. We were cliff dwellers, right, living in the apartments. And then we had the opportunity to buy our first home, little house in Wataga. We were so excited about that new home and what we found about our first little house is that a house, no matter how beautiful it is or no matter how proud you are of it, it takes constant maintenance to sustain it. Something has always gone wrong. And when you have a landlord, that's kind of nice that you can say, hey, the plumbing doesn't work, toilets backed up. You got a landlord. Guess what happens when you own a home, right? You're the one. And that was a challenge for me because I had a mechanical bypass very early on in life. Not very mechanical. For example, Cindy calls me one day at work. She goes, honey, on the way home, would you pick up some air conditioning filters? We need to change those out. And I said, okay, well, what size do we need? She goes, If I remember, it was like, you need 20 x 36 by 120 by 36 by one. So typical, man. I don't write anything down, right, guys? We can remember. Absolutely, we remember. So I'm thinking, okay, I got this 20 x 36 by 120 x 36 by one. So leave work. I'm on my way home. I go by, stop at I don't know, Lowe's, home Depot somewhere. I'm looking around, I can't find them. They're not anywhere. I asked for help when I finally found a person, and I said, hey, I'm trying to find these air conditioned filters. And then they said, well, it's going to be down this aisle. And so I got on a bus and went down that aisle. And all right? That's the last Home Depot Lowe's joke I'll make. I didn't have them. I went to another store, didn't have them. Went to true value. Didn't have them. And so when I got home, she goes, Honey, where are the filters? I said, they don't have them. I went to three or four different places. She goes, none of them had them. I said no. Now, they had a lot of 36 by 20s by ones, but they didn't have any 20 x 36 by ones. And, you know, fellas, have you ever said something, I know you're not going to admit this, but so incredibly stupid to your spouse, and they just look at you and in that moment, you knew. I wished I had thought about this before I said this. That was really dumb. Have you had that moment? And it just hit me how stupid that was. And she reached and took my hand, and she goes, Honey, I'll tell you what, go back and buy them, and when you bring them home, we'll turn them. Well, I told that to the church a few years ago, and I had a couple of guys in the congregation gave me an AC filter converter chart that would help me going forward if you ever need help on that sort of thing. What's my point? My point is, as much as we loved our new home, as much as we enjoyed it and had fun in it, we had to maintain it. It did not maintain itself. Can I tell you what's true of our houses or true of our families? You can have a beautiful, wonderful family that you love with all your heart, but if you don't maintain your home, it will not sustain itself. Nothing stays the same, and nothing fixes itself. It requires attention. It requires maintenance. So I just want to talk to you a little while about a divine discipline for a healthy home. In fact, if you have a Bible, look in Matthew seven. Very familiar passage. Most all of you have either heard this at some point in time or you've read it, but it really bears repeating, and it goes to the heart of what I want to share with you before we leave. In Matthew 724, this is Jesus speaking, and Jesus says, therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice. Now, what I've learned, and probably what you already know, is not everyone who hears God's word will put it into practice. There is a difference between hearing and doing. In fact, I'll stop here parenthetically long enough to say in most churches, what we don't need is new revelation. I hear people all the time. I just want to learn something new, and I just want something fresh that I've never heard before. I want new revelation. Well, I understand there is a desire to learn new things maybe you've never explored or you've never learned before, but let me tell you what I believe the heart of the issue is. I don't believe that it is new revelation that we need as much as it is obedience to the old revelation we've already received. Most of us really need to learn what we already know. Most of us know enough. I mean, if you're in a relationship, you ever been in a relationship, you know how to get in one. We just don't know always how to stay in one. And most of us guys, I'll speak to the men because that's my only perspective, right? And that's the only thing I identify with. And so I'm just saying that most of us men know that if we could keep doing the things that we did when we won you over, we probably could keep you. So it's not new information we need. We just need obedience to old information that we already have. We know how to do it. And I'm just suggesting to your heart that Jesus was talking to people. He was saying, Look, I'm teaching you truth. He said, but there's a difference between hearing something, learning that something, and putting that something into practice. And that was the challenge, because he goes on to say, if you hear the words and you put them into practice, you're a wise person. Now, I know there's only two classes of people in the world. There's the wise and the other wise. There are people who will put God's word into practice and people who don't. There are people who will hear the word of God and not just hear it, but they do it. Remember what James said. He said, don't be a hearer only, but be a doer. Think about the chaos and the dysfunction that happens in most families, because we get together, we come into these church services called Holy Huddles, and we all get our assignment. We all know what I know what my role is as a husband or as a wife, as a parent, as a child. And when we break the huddle, we don't execute the play. And all of a sudden, there's chaos on the field. The ball is fumbled. The ball's dropped. I don't want play to football anymore. I'm going to play baseball now. This is not any fun. The game isn't fun. Doesn't make sense. And it's all because someone didn't follow up with their assignment. They didn't do what they knew to do, what they learned to do when they were in the huddle. So Jesus is saying, if you're going to be a wise parent, if you're going to be a wise spouse, then you need to apply the things that you've learned, put it into practice. And he said, if you do that, you're like this person who builds their house on a rock and then he says something strange. He says, the rains come, the streams rise, the winds blew beat against the house, but it didn't fell because it had its foundation on the rock. We say, Bill, what's strange about that? Well, what's strange about it is oftentimes we're told if you get your family in church, if you make God the priority of your life, if you pursue him with all of your heart, you honor him with your giving. And you honor him with your serving. And you check all the boxes that we say you should do as a good, faithful Christian. Then you never have storms. Trouble never hits your life. Now, we think that sometimes, and we're often even told that sometimes in sermons or we infer it that, man, you just trust Christ and you're just healthy, wealthy, and wise, and you'll realize sometimes you're sick, broke and dumb. Sometimes it doesn't work that way. And I guess I wanted to stop long enough to tell you that you can be doing the right things. You can be building your family on the right foundation, you can be checking all the right boxes and listen, that will not exempt you from storms. Jesus said it rains on the just and the unjust. Good things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people. And guess what? Bad things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. The inevitable unescapable reality of life is storms will come, they'll hit your life, they'll hit my life. And Jesus is not even saying, here's the way to avoid a storm in your family. He's not even going there. He's saying this is a way to survive a storm in your family when the storms come. The secret to not having your house fall is the foundation upon which your house is built. So he says, you have this contrast, you have this wise person who sees the value of building their house on the rock. So when the storms come, the house doesn't fall. But notice in contrast distinction there, everyone who hears these words and does not put them into practice is like the foolish one who builds on the sand and the same rain comes and the same streams rise and the same winds blow and the same winds beat against the house. But the difference is this one falls with a great crash. What's the difference? Number one foundation. Foundation. Every structure is preoccupied with its foundation. It's important that you build on the right thing. You're building your life on something. You're building your relationship on something. You're building your values on something. Someone is well said. Unless you have within you that which is above you, you eventually succumb to what is around you and you'll fall into what is beneath you. You need to have something solid and you need to have something steadfast in your life. And I believe the most solid steadfast thing you can have in your life is a relationship with Jesus that is based upon his word. Financial security is important, emotional health is important. The most significant thing you could provide for your family this morning is a good foundation and the foundation is their faith. In one Corinthians, chapter three, verse 17, paul said there's no better foundation that is laid than the foundation which is laid, and that foundation is Jesus. Sometimes people think, well, I'm building my foundation, I'm building my family on my know, I'm Baptist or I'm Catholic or know assembly of God or I'm whatever I am. And there's nothing wrong with that identity and there's nothing wrong with that tradition. I'm just suggesting you you can't build your life on religion. There's not a verse in the Bible that you could point out to me where Jesus ever said get religion, go to heaven. Most people have to get over their religion. In fact, what Jesus said in John 14 six, he said, I am the way, the truth, the life. No one comes to the Father except by me. Jesus said, it is your relationship to Christ that is essential, that is foundational, not your religion. So I'm suggesting to your heart this morning that when we think about our family and we think about how we're trying to build our family, the first thing we need to know, or the first thing we need to be certain of, are we building our families on the foundation of Christ? Do we speak of Him in our homes? Do we talk about Him with our children? Is our faith a part of our life? I mean, you can't impose that on your children, nor would you want to. But you want to expose your children to enough teachings about Christ that when they're old enough, we pray they'll own their faith. We have kids and now I have grandkids. And I can tell you when Cindy and I first had kids, one of the first things we pray that these kids will own their faith. We want them to have a personal relationship with Christ that's apart from my relationship and while Cindy was here that was a part of hers. We want them to own their faith. And what you'll find is what we found is that the more you expose them to the teachings of Christ and the more that they're around a committed congregation like this one, to the teaching of God's word, the earlier typically they'll embrace that and own it. Statistics prove out that most kids make a commitment for Christ, the greatest majority of them before they're 16, in fact, I think it's 80 or 90% and then the percentages begin to drop from there. So it's important as a family, as we're thinking about having a healthy home, that we look at the foundation upon which the home is built because Jesus is saying storms are going to come whether you're in church or you're out of church, whether you believe in Jesus or you don't. Storms are still going to come. You can't avoid them. I said that a moment ago. You can't escape them. What's significant is how you will endure the storm. And he's saying the chances of weathering the storm with your home intact is guaranteed if the home is built on the right foundation. So could I ask you this morning, what foundation are you building your family on? Is it a relationship with Jesus Christ? Is that the thing you speak of? Is that the thing you talk about? So the foundation number two. Once you have established the foundation, now you need to begin to look at the structure. What is the formation of this home? What is it going to look like? What are the values that we embrace? What's important about the formation of my home, architect Louis Sullivan, he coined the maxim, form follows function. You heard that? I'm sure he went on to say, the question you ask is, does this design work? Or as that great theologian Dr. Phil says, how's that working for you? I mean, every now and then you got to look at your family and say, this ain't working. Whatever we're doing is not working. You got to identify where is the dysfunction within this family? There's something we're doing that's obviously not working. And repeating the old habits isn't fixing it, and avoiding it isn't fixing it. You remember the old definition of insanity is when you continue the behavior expecting the different result. Heard about a guy, they said he banged his head against the wall because he said it felt so good when he stopped. I mean, there's times in your life when you just have to say, what we're doing is not working. We don't have a happy home. We don't have a healthy home. Let's start with the foundation. Is this a family that is embracing our faith? Do we have faith? And then if you say, yes, we have faith. I know it's there. We believe in Jesus. We talk about him. We pray to him. We do our best to serve Him. So that's in place. But how are we how are we forming the family? How are we functioning as a family? Because remember, the function follows the form. I read an interesting article by a family sociologist, and several in this study agreed with the findings of the sociologist that there were three markers for a dysfunctional family. Three. It said number one, it's a family that doesn't talk. They don't talk to each other. They're not open about anything. The lines of communication are just completely broken down. Corey talked last week about the significance of doing away with the distractions. Turning the phone off the television, for example. It's like everything in our world dominates and takes our attention except the ones we love the most, we give the least amount of time to. And one of the earmarks of a dysfunctional family is a family that doesn't talk. Number two, a family that doesn't trust. There's no trust. They don't trust the other members of their family so they can't be open and it leads to the fact that they don't even trust themselves. So they hold secrets and they don't share because they don't think they can trust anyone. And all that begins to turn inward and eventually the third marker is they then don't feel. They don't feel, they don't have compassion before other people because you can't give something you don't have any more than you can come from somewhere you've not been. So if you're not healthy in and of yourself how are you going to be a healthy parent or a healthy spouse or a healthy child? You have to first of all, that health has to begin within your own heart. And they say these qualities of dysfunction don't talk, don't trust, don't feel are markers of a family that is not working according to healthy function. Conversely, let me give you some healthy patterns of a healthy, functional family. Number one, good communication, right, where you make time and you take time to talk to one another. And like Corey Hit last week, if you don't make the time and take the time, it doesn't come automatically. So you have to have a moment. You have to have time every day. When you talk to number two, unconditional love. One of the things you should communicate to your children especially is no matter what you do or where you go, there's nothing you could do that would make me love you less. Kids need to feel unconditional. Why? Because God loves his kids unconditionally. He makes no provision in his life. He doesn't say I'll love you if or I love you because he says I love you in spite of that's grace. So you have good communication. You have unconditional love. The third marker is a family that embraces joy. Remember, that is different than happiness. So the goal is to have a happy home. But that's not always the case because happiness comes from the old English word happenstance. We don't use that word anymore. We use this one circumstance. So it used to be said that if your HAP was good, you'd be happy. Happenstance, you're happy because that deals with circumstance. Joy is different. Joy is something you can have when the storms are hitting your home. Joy is something you can have when you're not happy. You can still have joy. It is an inward sense of contentment that somehow you know deep within your soul that whatever you're going through is temporary. And somehow or another this is going to work for our good and for God's glory. Joy. Another thing to strive for in your home is sensitivity is trying to read not only each other's words, but to read each other's attitudes. Sometimes you have to be sensitive because kids and people will shut down and finding ways where they're comfortable about opening up is important and essential to identifying a little problem that could become a big problem if it's not addressed. So I would say, Lord, help me to be sensitive to my spouse. Help me to be sensitive to my kids. Help me to be discerning of their moods and learn to listen to them, not just with my ears, but being sensitive means I'm listening with my eyes. I'm hearing what you say, but I'm seeing something different in how you're acting. I'm worried about you. I'm concerned. You know, I'm a safe person. You can talk to me, right? Having those kinds of conversations. And then the last thing on forming a house that functions is balance, man. Trying to achieve balance. And boy, isn't that a challenge with all the plates you get spinning? Trying to find balance in your family? Really, it's based on priorities. The best way to find balance is establish priorities. Biblically, I can give you four or five that I can support with Scripture. Number one god. That's foundation. Not God in relation to your church, but God in relation to your relationship. God if you have no church, god if you never went to church, you need God, that's foundational. So you have God in the beginning, god, that's where the Bible starts. Good place. Secondly would be your spouse. He established Adam and Eve in the garden, so he established the priority of a marriage. So if you're married, then that would be your spouse. Thirdly would be kids. If you're a single parent, that's your kids. If you're mom and dad, parents, still your kids. So you have that priority. I have my relationship with God, my spouse, my children. Then the fourth thing he said to Adam was, take care of this place, work. I heard somebody say, well, man, if man hadn't sinned, if there hadn't been a fall in the garden, we wouldn't have to work. That's not true. Did you know if you look back and you look at the order, work was established before sin entered the picture. Now sin makes work harder. Thorns and thistles and all the other but in other words, God designed us to work. Even if you're retired, you need to find something you do. I mean, doctors will tell you if you quit doing anything, your body starts breaking down. I mean, it's not good for you mentally or physically. You need to do something. If you got time, we'll put you to work right up here, man. We got plenty to do, right? So I'm just suggesting to you that God designed work. So, okay, let's put it together. I got God my relationship with him. I have my spouse, my kids, then I have my work. And then number five is worship. He established the altar system, and he established the principle of worship. So I could put my church right there, right? That's a priority. Now you could add number six, your friends, you could put number whatever. I mean, you go crazy. I can give you five biblical priorities. Now, what am I saying? I'm saying sometimes I gauge my schedule according to my priorities. What that means is you have to know how to say no to certain things. You can't agree to do everything. Sometimes you just have to say, I don't have time. It's not on my top five. You're number eight. I don't know if you say that, but anyway, you could say it sweetly. You're not in my top five. No, but the point I'm making is you are a limited resource. You can't be everything to everyone. You can't do everything for everyone. You are a very limited resource. So God only gives you what you need to get you through the day. And so if you're running on empty or you're burning the fuel, that means you're burning some fuel that he hadn't given you yet. So make sure the people that are getting that attention are the people who are in your top priority. It's a good way to achieve balance. Can I give you a plug for church? I'm talking to the choir. You guys are here. I just commend you. Did you know statistics show that if families attend church faithfully, 72% of their kids will embrace church as they get older. Conversely, if a family does not attend church regularly when their kids are little, only 6% of those kids ever go to a church at all. What's the principle? Well, kids learn what they live. If it's not important to us today, don't expect it to be important to them tomorrow. So we establish priority, balance. What is that? That's forming a family. It's how we should function. So we're not into dysfunction. Here's the last one. We'll go home. Thirdly, not only their foundation, their formation, number three, their fortification. I love again. Verse 27. He said, even though the family went through what they went through, it didn't fall. What's another way of putting it? Your family stayed together, a little battered from the storm, a little banged up from the storm, a little bruised from the storm, maybe a little wiser from the storm, but you stayed together. It didn't fall. Why? Because it had its foundation on the rock. You know what happens when you embrace God and you honor Him and you make Him the priority not just of your life, but of your family. You know what happens then? You can embrace the fact that he said in Hebrews 13, hey, I'll never leave you. I'll never forsake you. When you commit your life to Him, he commits his life right back to you. And that means you have his presence. You have his presence. I don't know if you've gone through anything in your family when you've prayed about it and you feel like the heavens are brass and the prayers aren't getting above the ceiling fan. You ever. Had those moments where you just feel like you're having some sort of a spiritual inner monologue. You don't feel God's hearing you. Can I tell you? He hears you. He hears you. He's got this, he's got you. He's got that. His promise is I'll never leave you, and I'll never forsake you. You have his promise. You know what else you have? You have his protection. You know why? You're in his hand. He said, no one can take them from my hand to get to you. It has to go through Him. You have god's incredible protection. What did the psalmist write? Psalm 46 one god is our refuge and strength, an ever present help. When in trouble. When I'm in trouble, sometimes we don't think of God till we get in trouble. But it's beautiful to know that when I'm in trouble in the middle of a storm, he's there. Remember what he said to Noah when he invited him in Genesis seven to come in? He didn't say, Go into all the Noah. You and your family go into the Ark. That's not what he said. You know what he said? Come into the ark. You know what that meant? He was on the inside. God will never send his kids somewhere that he's not. Remember the three Hebrew children in the fire in Daniel? You know what the great thing about it? When the King looked into the fire, he said, didn't we throw three in there? I see four. And the fourth is likened to the Son of God. He may not keep you out of the fire. Instead, he may go through the fire with you, but you never go through anything that he's not there. Even when we're ready to leave this life. You remember what the psalmist said in Psalm 23? Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I'll fear no evil. Why? For thou art with me. When the psalmist wrapped his mind around the presence of God and God's protection, he said, Where will I go to flee from God? If I go into the stars, you're there. If I go into the depths of the Earth, if I could make my bed in hell? He said you are there. I can't go anywhere that you're not. You have his protection. You have his presence. Thirdly. You have his provision. That beautiful verse in Philippians 419, my God shall supply all your need didn't say your greed, he said, Your need, all your need. How? According to his riches and glory. By Christ Jesus. Not out of his riches and glory, but according to you know what that means? If he had said, God will supply all your needs out of his riches and glory, that would have been, each time he meets my need or yours, it's depleting some of the riches that he has in glory. But that's not what he says. He says, you don't have a need that I don't have a supply. I am blessing you and providing for you and not even touching the supply. It is according to, not out of. So there's nothing you face that he can't handle. There's no challenge. You've got that's too big for him. There's not a place in the Bible where God ever says, you're asking too much of me. Ease up, slow down. Ask smaller things. In fact, the Bible says, open wide thy mouth and I will fill it. I told my son in law that's the dentist verse. Get it? Open wide thy mouth and I will fill it. Okay, but the idea is, God is expecting big things. I read this and I'll let you go. I read this. When Mother Teresa received the Nobel Peace Prize, a reporter, one of the many, asked her, if you had any advice to the world, what would you tell the world to bring peace and harmony? What would you say to the world if you could give them advice? You know what she said? She said I would tell the world, go home and love your family. Go home and love your family. You still have your kids with you. Go home and hug those kids. Tell them mom is a safe person. Tell them Dad's a safe place. You can always come to me. I want the relationship to be good with us. No matter what you do or where you go, I'll always love you. You can always come to me. And you know what? That's going to build some health, some security within your babies. They may be big babies. You may not be able to get them up in your lap. Your legs may fall asleep now, but you still assure them of your love. You care for them. You can change the world by loving your family. What a beautiful thought that is. Let's pray. Lord, thank you for your word. And Father, I pray for all the families represented this morning and all those watching online, those who will watch. Lord, we all want our families to do better and to be better. We don't always know how to do that. So, Lord, help us just to take that which we know to do and apply it our faith, which is foundational, trying to develop some new disciplines within our home, things that we can actually do. And then at the end of the day, resting in Your promise, in Your presence, with Your protection, knowing, Father, you've got us and You've got this. And there's nothing that we go through that we cannot get through. So, Lord, I lift these families up to you. I pray you'll, bless them. Give them a good week. Watch over them. Lift the burdens that they carry. Lord, there are, as we said, no perfect homes. Everybody's struggling with something. So I pray for them today. Thank you for their presence. I pray you'd, bless them. And finally, Lord, if there's one in the room or one watching who may never have trusted you as their personal savior, I pray this would be the moment right where they are, where they say, lord Jesus, with everything I know about me, I now trust all that I know about you. Come into my heart. Forgive my sin, be a reality in my life, and I pray this prayer in Christ's name. Amen. [00:33:53] Speaker A: Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you have any questions or prayer requests, please contact us by visiting metchurch.com so that we can follow up with you this week. We look forward to seeing you next week.